Flashbacks and Flashpoints

"Situations got a strange way of makin' a mess.... No different for my own self either of late... Gorram warbot. That was a flashpoint. Flashpoints. Its when somethin' reaches its maximum befre conbustion. We all got em too...." Pacin' 'round in Hasno was startin' to wear a might thin lately. "Not sure where all it started. Could say as far back as when Kitten went out of existance. Or as near as the warbot's attack on us. Can't say for sure, but it all added its brand of poison."

Not sure why I was talkin' 'bout all this gorram stuff. Just maybe needed to be said. Or maybe to get rid of the poison that was festerin' inside. Purgin' it, I s'pose. "With Kitten gone, my life started doin' a might better. Not how you'd think. My head was clear for the first time since..... Hell, don't know when.... But there was that loss that was there too. It also brought somethin' more... A new light. AuroraBlue, like bright sunshine pourin' through rain clouds." The doorway had a barrier I couldn't get through. G said to keep me safe from my own self... So I didn't go and do somethin' crazy.

The drugs were wearin' off. I could feel it.... Made me a might annoyed to be locked up... Startin' to feel a close in here... "Hale's was quiet for a spell. Even work dried up while the 'liance hit dirtside here. Figures... They come and work goes. Then there was Xoxo.... She was actin' all confused at times, then at others she was mean spirited. Not sure what all's goin' on with her. Maybe she reached her flashpoint.... Or dealin' with her own poisons. But she ain't been 'round of late." Not sure how many times I looked at that gorram wall clock. But time was movin' a might too slow for my likin'.

"Then a few weeks back.... Aiya... Was a nightmare. Xoxo and her spite sent me to headin' for the black. Yeah.... I was pretty angered for a spell... When I got back all hell'd opened up with bullets flyin'. I knew cause a stray caught me in the armor. Nothin' the armor couldn't handle easy." When was G gettin' back. I needed some gorram air. "So, with tryin' to figure who was doin' the shootin', I got into trouble helpin' save Tillery from his captors... And got my own self shot up. Yeah, yeah.... Broke the run of good luck there. At least the explosions and shots from the ship didn't hit us. Woulda ended us if they had."

My mind was racin' to see if I could get somethin' in the room to short the door so I could get out of here... But then there was the gas release I had to deal with.... "Not two days later.... that huan dahn bounty hunter got hold of me. Gorram sick bastard.... strapped me down so I couldn't move or fight back... Tortured...." That set me on edge. The poison balled in my gut. "For days he beat me and tore me up.... Would wake in some med facility to have it all start again." I shook my head tryin' to forget... "Like it'd never stop. Until I woke here.... Hell, in this room. More like a cell now... Says to keep me from doin' somethin' crazy.... or get my own self hurt."

Chuckled at that, but it wasn't funny. None of it was.... "Maybe a week or so later a kid shows up and starts talkin' all strange. Dav took her in... Seems we get a lot of folks lost in the 'verse come our way. Like Hale's is a flame to every moth on the rim. Sometimes they come to their senses and somethimes they don't." Wonder which might happen to her... "Then the warbot showed her green face and set to shootin' everythin' up. Everythin' and everyone in her way..... To find Raids. She looks like Raids 'cept for the color... and maybe the hair. But thats 'bout it. It came fast at Dav and me. Almost too fast to dive for cover. Gorram fast and deadly. Went for me first. Not sure what all happened after that."

Gorram! Had to look at that gorram clock again. "Like no time's passed...." rubbed my face and tried not to think of where all I was. "We were shot up good. Jai was tryin' to help.... but I got the feelin' she wasn't cut out for bein' a medic. Then that kid was sayin' stuff. Like I was her brother. I don't know what all thats 'bout. I don't know her from hole in the wall. My family was gone. My birth family anyway. Says she's Catherine. Hell Catherine... Kitten was gone. She was most like dead by now." Frownin' 'bout that. Was she? "No soon's we wake up and the warbot's back. This time Calina was visitin' in the clinic when it showed. We needed to get out there. The gorram 'bot was outside killin' another poor townsfolk. We could hear the shots and screams.... the sound of someone bein' ended..."

The screams you couldn't shut out as it rang off the buildin' walls. "We didn't have much chance. Dav and I were her targets again. She messed us up pretty bad.... Could feel the bullets tearin' through me as I shot back. After that I don't rem'meber much. Well... nothin' after that.... I woke in the clinic again. Or was it the first time... and I never left. Like relivin' a nightmare. Or was it goin' to be my hell." Needed to purge that poison again. "Had to get out of that buildin'. The chem smell was makin' me sick. Never liked med centers.... And then there was that kid. She kept at me over and over.... Insistin' I was her brother." Who was she, and why.... I'd made my own peace with my family. Why now. "Everythin' was flashin' b'fore my eyes. Shots ringin' out, death screams.... The non stop pain poundin' into my body....Flashpoint....."

My body hurt from all the punishment, while my brain tried to sort it all out. "How long can anyone take the beatin's? Was this what my Pa went through after he lost his arm in the Unification War? Not sure, but he made it through with his life. For that he was grateful to come home to us." Come on G, I need to be doin' somethin' 'sides pacin' in here... "Gotta cast the demons away and step b'yond the pain. We gotta end the warbot b'fore it does more damage to the folks here. Find her 'flashpoint' and melt her for scrap. Yeah, maybe it's wishful thinkin', but hell, we gotta do somethin'. Then with time..." Oh hell. Looked at the clock again..... "Yeah... Time heals all wounds. Hopefully faster then the gorram clock is moving."

Loss and the New Year

"Well, it's another year.... And I might of gotten off on the wrong foot. Could just be me thinkin' that. Just sometimes happens is all. Just hoping it gets better from here. Heard a friend passed on just a day or so ago. Ladonna Biscuit..... Pete'd introed me to her. Bright and friendly sort. Liked workin' on ships. Was tragic how she ended....." Tried to get my thoughts sorted as I rem'mbered her. "Shouldn't have happened..... 'specially to someone like her...."

Rubbin' my neck I could only pray for her family. Their pain must be pretty bad. And her friends..... "The folks who got to know her are feelin' the loss. Her memories'll live on with us."

(Ladonna was a wonderful person Pete Camino introed me to. She loved to learn about building ships, getting to know folks, and talk with friends. She'll be sorely missed by the community here in the Firefly Verse and in RL by her friends and family. Send thoughts, prayers, & whatever strength to them in their time of need.)

Lookin' 'round the office seemed a might claustrophobic 'bout now. So I started headin' to the hangar. Had to see what we needed there. "Not sure what to say on it 'cept we all deal with loss in our own way. Like with Kitten. I know she's gone now. Months are spannin' longer and no word. And I still gotta heal up 'nough to find info on those twins that went missin'..... Lily might have an idea of where all they went. She's got her ears to the wind. Means I gotta heal up more b'fore I can go flyin' 'round again too. Just hope that Major holds up her end of the deal. Gettin' me info on Kitten....."

"One bright side to bein' back home after my bein' taken.... AuroraBlue come to see me. She looked all pale and a might worried. Her hands were warm and gentle where she touched the bandages. I told her I was on the mend and it seemed to help her some. Told her I had a gift for her in the tower, so she went and put it on. Was real nice dress I found on Paquin last time I landed there. She come back to show me..... lookin' so beautiful. I showed her an image of how I saw her in my own head. I think she smiled at that. Made me happy to see her smile. Too much tragedy over the last year for everyone. We all felt it, even her."


AuroraBlue showing Cody her new dress.

The hangar was busy with folks fixin' their vehicles. The bigger ships had their hangar up on the orbital. "When I woke back up the next day, she'd left. Most likely to do somethin' she needed to get done. Lily'd told me she;d been takin' stuff. Not sure what or from where all. I don't know if I want to. Hell I had to my own self just to survive after my escape from the medcenter." I waved to the folks at the hangar. Talked to a few of em to let em know I was doin' better. "Brooke come by just b'fore I was shot. She'd said some things..... Sort of got me surprised she did what all she did. She said she shot someone in her home. Was months ago. He came to take her children..... She had to stop him and killed him in the kids bedroom. That's when she left with her little ones and hid. When she come back to the office, she had that haunted look.... I figured I knew who she'd killed up in that room.... It was William Faith."

"She was back, albeit sporadically. I could understand she needed to spend time with her little ones too. I told her I'd keep the office runnin' like I been for a while. Let her know we had funds if she needed any." Was hard to see her in such rough shape. "Brooke'd been through a lot.... And what she told me would stay with me. No one else need know of what she had to do. I don't blame her for it either. He was more then deservin' of what all he got. I would have shot him my own self." Shakin' my head to try to get my mind onto somethin' else, I checked the parts lists to see what we needed to restock.

"Had a few visitors while I was healin'. Seems Vincent got himself a body. Sort of felt a might strange to see him sorta lookin' like me. But then G mentioned somethin' 'bout Desmond usin' some of my DNA. Sixty seven percent of his DNA was from me. Said somethin' 'bout my DNA that'll keep Vincent's body from rejectin' his brain. Or any other organ for that matter. Another thing the 'liance might want me for if that got out." Double checkin' the list, I copied it into my data reader. "But then again, I don't know what all'd been done to me and what the effects f the tamperin' are."

I headed back to the office to send out the list of parts we needed on the ground. "Still a might sore, but then that's expected of what damage I got when I was with that huen dahn bounty hunter. Ribs tend to heal slower cause they're always moving. Gotta breathe. Davion was playin' momma hen on me 'bout not liftin' when we go for this next run. This time I had to agree. I ain't wantin' to spend any more time in a clinic then I have to." My mind drifted back to AuroraBlue and the other night as I got to the office. Simon was settin' in his usual spot on the counter. Cat come in and adopted the office as his place.

"Lily called in on New Years Eve, by Hale's Moon's standard calender. Said she was bringin' someone with her. I didn't have to ask. It was AuroraBlue. She changed in the community buildin' back into the dress I got her and I took her to Firefly's to dance. It took very little time for her to pick up on how to dance when I showed her. She was enjoyin' herself and I was happy she was. It was like a ray of sun come down and lit my world. Warmin' it and brightin' it up. The gravity was back and holdin' me in a strong orbit. Then she was wantin' to leave. I stopped her at the stairs to say bye.... I even said, 'I love you'. Then I kissed her cheek..... She suddenly stiffened and ran off....." The whole thing made me feel bad for the kiss. "I wasn't meanin' to scare her off. And I'd kissed her forehead hundreds of times. Just gotta hope she ain't upset over it."

Lost...

Sounds.... far away.... Where...."Can't think to well.... Seems somethin's wrong. Lily.... She got riled over somethin'.... Don't r'member what all. Bram was there....... Gorram.. where's that sound comin' from.... Can't figure..... maybe some 'lectronics.... Dark here..... When she got angered at me.... Decided to fly somewhere else..... Mu Draconis... Not sure why...... Til I got there." Can feel cold.... cold and dark..... Am I in the black?

Try to move... somethin's got hold.... someone? "That's when I saw her..... AuroraBlue.... Pretty as ever..... even with the dirt..... Got to wok out how to get her to wash..... Don't want to scare her..... I love her. She's my gravity..... Holdin' me strong. We, well..... me.... talked. Even offered Monster for her to get 'round in.... Not wantin' her to get in trouble for hyjackin' someone's ship."
Somethin' pokin' at me..... Irritatin'..... Aiya, stop it..... Feelin' hard to breathe.....

Somewhere in front of me is light..... Settin' sparks off in my eyes..... Try to reach for it...."She headed for the landin' zone..... Then she was away...... Took Jai's shuttle back to Hale's. Then all hell broke loose....... Shootin'! Saw someone get hit and fall nearby then felt a slug strike my body armor..... Grabbed the woman and ducked b'hind a buildin'...... She was ok... Just grazed..... Decided to find out who was shootin'..... Didn't take long.... Was on the roof of the CNS buildin'. Made my way there but couldn't get to the roof...... Figured a couple of us could hop onto the roof and get the drop on em. Jet and one of his crew jumped into the mule....." Can feel pain somewhere in me..... Where..... Gorram.... who's messin'... Was fine..... "We jumped to the roof and everythin' went bad. The mule exploded..... gunfire and Tillery bein' held..... Said he got hit with an EMP....."

"He said it knocked out his 'lectronics that helped him walk..... Gorram body armor... Got to find a way to stop point blank shots..... I tried to cover him usin' my own self as a shield til we could get away..... Then a ship started shootin' at the bad guys.... Got Tillery safe and down to the clinic. Got my own self holed in the shootout. Gorram...... Fixed my own self as best I could then went to the Tower......" Can't breathe... Losin' atmo? whats goin' on.... can't wake up.....

"Am I dreamin' it all? No..... Not dreamin'... Can't be.... I know what all was happenin'.... 'cept today..... Dav came to check on me..... Gave me some pain meds too.... Not sure what happened after that... been out of it...... Dreamed of AuroraBlue in the black...... She was with a few folks.... I think Seana was there, but not sure...... GORRAM! whats happenin'..... " The light was startin' to move closer.... "Can feel somethin' stabbin' at me..... Makin' me a might angered...... Someone come up into the tower.... Stranger...... Tryin' to gas me.... WHO..... ? Where'd Dav go.... Was here not that long ago....." Tryin' to fight the feelin' somethin's goin' on 'round me. Cold, pain..... Light....

Can't move.... Strugglin' but can't do nothin'.... Blue? You there? "That stranger.... Grabbed me... Gassed me!...... Says he wanted Dav........ Says he's a murderer..... We all done stuff.... Aiya! Can't catch my breath... Got to fix that leak..... He done stuff...... Slammed his elbow into my side then stuck somethin' into my wound...... Couldn't fight it.... Got punched a couple times....... Not sure what happened...... Felt somethin' give...... Can't breathe..... Wait..... he done somethin'..... Waved the whole thin'...... R'member a cam in the room...... Operatin' room...... The smell..... all over clean with chemicals...... Blue... Blue seen it all..... Means Lily did..... And.... Aiya... AuroraBlue..... Don't want her to feel this..... Got to get away..... make the pain stop....."

Can see the light movin' faster.... Comin' to me? Or me to it..... Ain't sure.... "Don't know if I'm alive or dead..... somewhere in b'tween.... Dav... Needs to hole up and hide..... Someone has to come...... stop this insane feller...... Gorram tortured me..... Who else.... who's goin' to be his next victim? Wasn't goin' to give in to his games.... Not wantin' to tell him 'bout AuroraBlue.... Don't want her hurt...... Someone'll end him..... I got my bets hedged on it..... If I'm even alive...." My body's feelin' pained and on fire all over now.... "m I goin' to hell? Or is the light my salvation... Or'm I stuck b'tween...... Lost......God help me to try and hang on.....

Memories and family secrets

"She held one of her blades high. Pointin' toward the starlit sky.... then drove the tip into the ground. I know what all it meant. A sword of destruction.... Its target? Destiny." my mind was racin' With what I got own self into. Marked the small cargo box ready for transport, and stuck it with the others. "Wasn't hard to read that. From the scans I took while it was still hot, it was made, not natural. Means it hit like it was dropped, not hurled. Yeah... I picked up that someone sent it.... I had my ideas but wasn't sure anyone'd listen."

"Had to get workin' on a few other projects.... Lily was bein' kept real busy. Seems Xoxo had her workin' on a recreation overlook. I ended up with a task too... Had to set the stone worked rail along the edge." Walked to the stacked stones outside, takin' in the view..... the meteor'd been broken down while it was still warm. Now it was more like a bunch of small canyons. "The work wasn't that hard to do. Xoxo was out there watchin' the meteor for a couple days. I could see what was left of her tent. Its where I found her.... Settin' there holdin' what all was left of a semi melted piece of artificial brain. She was talkin' to her own self. Looked like she hadn't eaten in days... and she'd been cryin' by the look of her face and eyes." Moved a couple rocks into place and placed more mortar and sealant on em to hold em in place.

"I let her talk til she was ready to notice me..... She knew I was there though. She looked right at me and told me stuff that she'd never tell anyone on a good day. I s'pose she needed to tell someone her deepest darkest secrets..... Secrets I'd bury deep down so no one could read em.... Had good practice with that. She said, 'It started here, it ends here.'" Another layer of stones and more sealant and mortar. "Figured that Krenshar wasn't all artificial.... that he had some DNA. What Xoxo told me, confirmed it.... But she was his maker.... How she was in love with the man whose DNA was in Krenshar. A browncoat.... "

Lookin' 'round out over the precipice that'd be a Recreation area.... Or was it a memorial...... "How she was workin' for the 'laince, but not by choice. Mindo was involved in it all. The plan for her was to mate with Blue. How... was the question, til Mindo had to take some of Xoxo's DNA after she run off. Its how Lily come to be.....Its how Mindo made good on the experiment...... LilyBell Snoodle was in respect Xoxo for the experiment to work. Then there was Blue, the artificial Intelligence." Stoppin' for a mo, I took a long drink of water. It was warm out here. The ground was still warm from the meteor.... No radiation.... Just entry heat. Lily was below diggin' out a few places.

"Xoxo, told me a lot 'bout what happened... Her past.... what she did. Seems the 'liance brought in what all was left of the feller she loved. She did what she could to preserve what was left of him. Used what little was left and intergrated it with one of the AI 'bot brains. No one'd know what all she done. To save her Samual..... She said she killed what was left of him so the 'liance couldn't use him for more experiments. Seems they need live subjects...." Took a mo to check the levelness of the stone wall. Was lookin' good so far....

"Krenshar was in some respect Samual. The replicant and what little was left of the man. The stuff she told me was a might profound. Lily carried Xoxo's DNA, Krenshar, Samual's. They contributed to AuroraBlue's birth, includin' Seana and a couple other's.... That and a part of my soul. Without Mindo and Blue the experiment might be lost on the 'liance. Only he knew the details.... Doubt he'd shared his info with anyone. Xoxo said a lot of stuff... Somehow I figured... But it still left me shocked 'bout what all she was tellin' me.... from her past. How she killed Mindo too....." Made my head ache. She had to've done it with her mind.... Like how Kitten could contact me from far off..... "Seems she needed to tell someone everythin'. Sort of to clear her soul.... Maybe to set the whole thing strait. Maybe cause its somethin' to do with family...."

"Lily come up to me and said not to believe much of what Xoxo said. Lily don't know what all Xoxo told me. Stuff I got hid below all my own pain and stuff that happened with me. Lily asked a couple questions the other day, 'bout my trip to Paquin. She wanted to know what all AuroraBlue was doin'." Looks like a lot's goin' on... And I got to figure out the puzzle again... That and the stone wall.... With more placin' and mortarin'.

"With all the stuff goin' on... all the greivin' and folks needin' consolin'. Decided to go do my own goodbyes..... The flight to Blackburne was full of old memories and nightmares. On the ground, it was a matter of closin' my eyes and 'seein' the past sweep past me. There was a lot of ruins.... House was more burned out mess then anythin'.... But the small storage cellar there was still intact. Took a few hours to dig down to the hatch. Once in there, I pulled everythin' out. Spent some time goin' through the boxes....." Lily was movin' 'round down below. Looks like she uncovered some dead lookin' trees..... Like bones of the past....."Once I got that and the seed cryo boxes loaded on Monster, I went and welded a cross together then set it by what was left of the house."

The stone wall was lookin' good. Needed more stones to place though. "One thin' I did do was leave a clippin' of my hair in a small pouch there. Left a piece of myself with my family. The feathers strung on a strip of leather with beads were so the eagle messenger'd let God know who was here... Lived and died here.... The ride back was more'n a little quiet. Relivin' old memories. Then there was the 'liance officer.... Major Siamendes.... She come right into the AT&S office. Only reason I didn't toss her out on her head was my word to Seana, and the fact she was a good friend to Brooke. She wanted help in findin' some kids what been taken from Paquin. She thought she could get me to help by sayin' what all I was doin' was lowly. I said it was better'n been a lab rat.... She had nothin' to say on that... Figures..... I made a sort of deal with her. I help her with findin' the kids if she finds out what all happened to Kitten... And I don't get put in a facility IF i got to go to jail...."

"So now I put my own self into a tight spot..... Not what I wanted, but if it gets me somethin' on Kitten.... Just got to wait and see.... Just need to know she's not bein' used for any 'laince gorram experiments...."

Love and Money

"Not sure where all to begin.... Gorram Xoxo and her cheap skatin'. We do a job for her. Ok, so yeah, I couldn't find the gorram warehouse. No Blue Sun sign on it. Just a blue hands symbol.... I think she put it up this mornin'. Another thing to cheat us out of money." Slammin' my fist on the counter didn't help how I was feelin' 'cept maybe ease up some of my anger. "I told her to at least pay my crew. They worked hard. I didn't need her money Didn't go for the money. Instead, she up and tells me to use my own cash. I was tempted to just load it all back up and return it here to Hale's. Let her find another crew to transport her trash. Even called her a cheap skate to her face. Didn't get shot for sayin' it either."

AuroraBlue at Al Raqis. Not sure what she's searchin' for...

"Ok, so I had my own motives for headin' to Paquin's Spinwheel. She was there. Lily even said she was. Said somethin' like she was there to learn from the Companions. Aiya! I didn't want her to go join up with em. Not AuroraBlue..... As it was just seein' her had me spun 'bout. To go off and be somethin' she wasn't meant for.... " Frownin', I reached for the datapad again and thumbed through the manifest pics for the ones I really wanted to see. "She was becomin' a beautiful young woman. Lately seein' her, had me just starin'. Hehe, sort of embarrassin' to be gawkin' like that when I saw her all filled out the first time. But then she left Hale's Moon and headed for Al Raqis, Baumonde, And a couple other places. I know..... I got the pics to show of her journey."

One picture faded slowly into the next one as my hand rested on the datapad. She was grown, or near grown up now..."Not sure why she went off. Maybe to find knowledge, or her own self in all the confusion." Blue sent these pics to me. Lettin' me know she was ok. Of all the stuff goin' on Blue was there in my corner. "She hadn't had much time as a little one to understand it all. Lily couldn't give her the info she really needed. but Lily did give her the peace from outside sources when it was crucial. One thing she did say of AuroraBlue this last time she was here. Somethin' wasn't right. I noticed it too. AuroraBlue was real pale. I could see it. She was smokin'.... Just like I was at her age.. or mindset..... Maybe she was rebellin'... Who knows......"

Couldn't keep lookin' at the pictures of her... I'd end up goin' back there again for the third time on a little over a week. "Xoxo offered me a job to transport the cargo to Paquin and like a gorram fool I jumped at it. I didn't care. It gave me a legit reason for bein' there. I had to know she was all right. Didn't doubt she felt what happened here... Feeling the possible loss of Krenshar..... Some say he was there when it hurtled down from the atmo. Didn't want to leave with the rest. But then there's that small reserve for self preservation..... Yeah, Most likely he was ended, but there is the small chance he made it into the catacombs far below." It didn't help when I said as much to Tillery, Lily, and the new feller... Put my gorram big feet into it."

It struck the whole of Destiny, levelin' it in one night...

"When We got to Spinwheel and off loaded We decided to grab a drink The three of us joked over the money in the bar when Dav offered to cover." Guess the joke was on me. Xoxo needs a dose of kindness to the folks who do jobs for her. "Later Rita and I got to talkin' 'bout stuff. her on her family business.... Bank robbin'... And her wantin' to roll a bank sometime soon. With my strange luck it'd go all weird on us. When the others went off to sleep, I went for a walk along the beach near the landin' area. Needed to try and refocus. Talkin' to Rita 'bout what happened to my family reopened a few old wounds I thought I had control over. Sleep was out for now. Couldn't with AuroraBlue so close... Didn't want her to see those things in my brainpan. Her connection with me went deeper then most folks think. Memories from a past that was both old and new.... Was in AuroraBlue's brainpan.... All jumbled, and I could see it in my own head..." picking up the duffle I'd taken out of the Monster, I removed a seashell. A real special one.

Turnin' it over, I put it to my ear and listened to the quiet sounds in it.... "AuroraBlue was near. I caught her scent real strong. She come up and sat with me for a while as I talked. Told her I wasn't spyin' on her. Had a good reason for bein' there. Said it was a Blue Sun cargo transport. All legal. She sat and listened. There was a mo when I was tryin' to figure how I'd talk to her 'bout smokin'. Said it was cause Lily and Xoxo asked me to stop my smokin' and drinkin'. They knew I needed to when AuroraBlue was born. Not sure if it got through or not to her. Was hopin' it did. She don't need to be behavin' like I was." Set the seashell down gently on the counter, with my hand restin' on it instead of the datapad.

"She gave me this shell. Didn't need words to tell me what she meant with it. She touched a finger to her heart, then to the shell restin' in my hand. When she did that she put her hand on mine to say she was givin' it to me. Its not the shell itself what was important, but the meanin' behind it. She was givin' me her heart." Sighin', I rubbed my face. Hadn't slept much on the trip back.

"AuroraBlue let me know in her own way how much pain she was in over the Meteor hit too. First she stood tall like Krenshar, then she lay there in the sand all curled up, cryin' and suckin' her thumb. All I could do was scoop her up and hold her through the sobbin'. Did what I could to comfort her. Was like she was all little again and needed someone to be there for her. Can't say I wasn't effected by that. I was hurtin' too.... for her and the loss. When she got to feelin' better, I let her up so she could walk a few feet away. She needed to do one more thing. The one sound she did make was familiar..... She howled. Not sure why, and didn't care, I joined in with my own. Sort of a goodbye in a way....."

AuroraBlue preppin' for her walkabout.....

"Can't say why, but bein' there for her was maybe somethin' we both needed at that time. Both needed to share the hurt and the comfort. Not alone...." My mind was startin' to spin back to the here and now. "Then when I get back ro Hale's there's Xoxo waitin' for me. She was none to happy. Refused to pay us and treated me like a dummy. Well at least I know she don't really hate me. If she did, I think I woulda been headed for the clinic with a hole in me. So I let the crew go back to their places, paid, and I went back to Spinwheel to do damage control. Someone broke into her offices and trashed the place. Tossed boxes out into the street, and stuff everywhere inside. Spent a good couple hours cleanin' up the stuff, gettin' it moved to the warehouse, and repairin' her desk. She best be grateful to that."

All said and done. Was able to give my crew some cash to survive on a little while. Fixed my own mistake and took care of somethin' for someone who aught not deserve it. And got to see AuroraBlue again. Went to see someone I love. Didn't go for the money.

Strange Happenin's

The wind blowin' 'cross town died down some while I moved the planter pots up to the small green house. Seems the Shepard wanted to grow some plants up by the church. I could see Lily workin' inside puttin' pottin' soil into the tiered plantin' areas. "Things been sorta unreal for the last couple of weeks. Seeems we been gettin' a few folks come in to do repairs on their ships. Others comin' to find work. Then there was that merc group what come in. They were lookin' for certain folk to 'take out'. What was so unreal 'bout it was, they said Brooke'd hired em to do the work. Didn't sound like what she'd do. Detla, the feller Brooke and I talked to that one time a while ago, Was headin' the ops." I let Lily know the pots were just outside and went to get the fertilizer sacks.

"he and I talked a bit on it. But somethin' just didn't sound right. he had this list of names on it. Hell, Nack was on that list. Delta said they were all 'laince and needed to be taken down." Had to chuckle to myself at how gorram stupid it was back then. "After he and his team went back to their 'hole in the ground' I decided to warm the mayor. Felt Seana aughta know 'bout who was steppin' heavy here. She agreed with me on the strange part. She said to let Brooke know she best call of her mercs. It wasn't hard to convince her Brooke wasn't involved. Hell. I was workin' for Brooke. If anythin' I'd be in on the whole thing. The Mayor wanted to get answers and went to find Delta and his gang. While she did that, I waved Brooke." I pulled two sacks off the mule and walked em up the incline to the little round greenhouse.

Settin' em down, I asked Lily if she needed more sacks. She nodded, sayin' 'It need two more sacks.'
"Brooke got back to me pretty quick. She was pretty worked up over the whole merc thing. She never hired em. In fact they were just usin' her name to do their own dirty work. Soon as I got the news I showed Seana the response. You know? I ain't seen the Mayor get that sorta glint in her eye in a long time. She found Delta and gave him the rundown of what all and what wasn't goin' down on Hale's Moon. Wasn't long b'fore they pulled stakes and left." Noddin', I went back to the mule for two more of the fertilizer sacks. Yeah thins were sorta strange of late.... more'n a lot of folks knew.

Grabbed two more sacks and went back up the incline, "Then there was AuroraBlue. She'd come back and was down in the mines. She stayed hid. Not sure why at first til I saw the scrawled note in chalk on the wall. She made sure I'd see it with a big drawin' of a flower. The note said, 'Please- books, paper and pens, big clothes. Love AuroraBlue'. Found the chalk and wrote a simple note back. 'Will do. Love Cody.' Took me all day to find some basic books. The paper and such was easier. Plenty int he office she could have. There were colored pencils and pens at the general store I bought. The clothes, I had to ask Lily and Seana for. No sense in lettin' a lot of folks know she was here." Two more sacks. Lily came out and purred at em. She looked at me how she always does and sort of purgled.... She asked me to grab a couple of tools at move the soil round while she mixed the fertilizer.

"That'd be the first of a bunch of books and such to the mines. I'd set the box of stuff down there by the scrawled note and move back. I'd listen to the sounds from below and knew when she come up. Strange how I just knew she was right there. I knew her footsteps, her scent. She knew I was there and wrote a note on a piece of paper for me. Pretty much it read, when she was done with the books she'd put em back in the box and could I swap em out for new ones. It what I been doin' for weeks. Spent a lot of time down there. Sometimes, I'd go down and just talk to her in the dark. She always kept herself hid. Somethin' I talked to Lily on. Then last week she asked if I'd seen her. AuroraBlue'd grown. Thing is she didn't want me to see her growin. Maybe she was scared I might not be happy with it... Or maybe she wanted to surprise me when she was grown." Grabbed up the shovel and waited for Lily to dump the stuff onto the soil. She did and I moved and turned the ground.

"Somethin' else strange happened..... Crop circles.... Not like in a field or nothin'.... but some weird circle design on the landing tarmac. Radioactive and smelled of chemicals. Not sure who did it, but there were pics and the real deal layin' there for folks to see. But no one believes in little green men from the black. No one ever saw any. Not even when the original folks come out here to the verse. G was investgatin' it. Then one day it burned and left a melted negative in the rock. Still don't know how or who put it there." Stopped for a mo to wipe the sweat off my forehead. Lily looked at the shovel waitin' for me to get back to work. Soon as the shovel moved she was back to dumpin' more fertilizer.

"Another strange thing...... We had corn growin' out near the edge of town. The ground was the same.... But for corn to grow? Stranger still. You could see the green shoots. But who planted em? And how were they growin' in Hale's dry clay ground. Who knows.. maybe we'll end up with a cold spell and snow... Whoa.. Better not think that... We got enough weird go'se goin' on. Oh and the big foot sightin'. Folks playin' 'round in a fur suit." Started chucklin' to myself. Lily looked up at me wonderin' what all I was laughin' at. I told her 'bout the big foot stuff. She asked a couple of funny questions. You know when she asks em, it makes the whole sightin' sound hilarious."

We got back to work with gettin' the ground ready for whatever the Shepard was goin' to plant. "A couple day back AuroraBlue finally came out of the mine. She was a might pale from stayin' down there so long. But she was taller, filled out some.... and as pretty as could be. I think I was just standin' there gawpin' as she showed me her new knives. She made em herself. That much I could see. but she did a good job at honin' em. Then she stepped real close.... I just looked into her eyes and stood real still. Didn't want to lose the moment. It felt like an electric current b'tween us. Gravity stabilized again, then she jogged off. I wasn't goin' to chase her. Not my place to be tellin' her to stay put. She wanted to explore." Lily was starin' at me again, then she tapped the shovel with a claw to get my attention. Sort of embarrassin'.... Mind wanderin' off like that.

"Bram's been busy with a little somethin'. Been workin' on a bar. Guess he's not goin' to pilot much anymore. Seems the place is down on a lower level of Fooks basement. Not sure a bar like that'll get good visitors... More like the folks what like the shadows. Some feller showed up claimin' to be business man. Shadey sort by how he moves and acts in my own opinion. And then theres been the number of off duty soldiers comin' down now. Gorram 'laince lookin' down their noses at us. Had to hold my temper when one of em went off on their self righteous unity go'se. Just another thing to talk to Seana on. No folks aughta get that thrown at em. A good number of folk here got good schoolin' and are hard workin' people. Gorram soldiers with silver spoons givin' us go'se for it. Was all I could do to keep from sluggin' this feller... or shootin' him.

Lily and I were pretty much done with the soil. She needed to get the water feeds hooked up and the greenhouse'd be ready for use. My work was to get the rest of the little courtyard cleaned up. "Just the other day, AuroraBlue took a shuttle and reprogrammed it. She was hijackin' it.... Lily said somethin' 'bout Krenshar.... AuroraBlue was goin' back to Krenshar. Not sure what she's goin' to do there, but it must be imortant. She didn't say goodbye, didn't wave. She'd be back. When? Not sure. When she does, I'll be waitin'. it's a gravity thing. Nothin' strange 'bout that.

Keepin' Busy

"Seems things can change as fast as the wind. Been everythin' from buildin's bein' built while others been torn down for new apartments." Grabbed up a bale of hay to feed the horses and cattle at the rodeo site. Someone's gotta do it. "Lot happened after we left that rim world. Had to head back... at least to somewhere where we could get a signal." cuttin' the twine holdin' the hay bale together, I took good handfuls for the hay nets. "It was time we left back to familiar territory." The horses greeted me then went to eat after I filled their nets with fresh hay. "Made contact with a friend to pick us up and take us to AL Raqis. Not the first choice of places to head to, but no real 'liance 'round in those parts. When we got there, the captain locked us in the ship for the night. Seems AuroraBlue woke up b'fore I did and got outside somehow." Had to go fetch another bale for the other horses.

"She was out wanderin' the edge of the dunes watchin' the giant worms out on the sand when I found her. Jai happened to be there and offered us a place to stay at the Zenobian embassy. Didn't take us long to rest up after a long hot day. She was startin' to burn a little fromt he sun, so I told it might be better to stay inside durin' the day and move around by night. AuroraBlue was sleepin' a lot. Coulda been the heat or her growth spurt." Had to to get the other animals fed. It's been all I could do to keep my own self busy. "After a couple of days I had to go find us some food. Most of the stuff on AL Raqis has spice in it. I knew I couldn't eat it, and I wasn't sure it was a good idea for her to either. So I spent most of a day to find some offworld food and barther for it." Took a bale of hay to the bull pens. Cut the twine and shook it out for em.

"Then while I was out there looking for more food, I got a call from the captain friend. She told me AuroraBlue came ot her and sort of asked to be flown to see Krenshar. I was about half crazed after Krenshar threatened to kill her. Had the captain rush me back to Hale's Moon. I didn't care who saw me runnin' 'round. I needed to know she was ok. When I got there Lily met up with me. She stopped me.... She never did tell me why. Just said I couldn't go get her. Not to go near her. Whether for her safety or not I didn't know. My world was wobblin'... And my friend was tellin' me stay away." Punched the fencin', crackin' the wood with my fist. Hardly felt the pain. "What she was doin' to me by sayin' that. Like askin' me to cut my own heart out. But if it kept AuroraBlue safe, I stay away."

"Made my own self busy buildin' pens and the stands while the rodeo got ready to open. Was all I could do. Work... work hard so I could fall asleep and not dream. Did what I could durin' the event too. Didn't help overmuch to ease the pain I was in."No one'd know how much I was hurtin' inside. Ain't been sleepin'. Had to resort to meds to help me sleep. Doc don't know I been raidin' her lockers for stuff... At least for now." Grabbed two more bales for the horses in the pens. "Then there's the mercs that come to Hale's Moon. Delta and hus crew. When Bram and I talked to him, he said Brooke sent him our way. Said he was being paid to look for hard line 'liance folks. Showed us the list. Now why was Nack Barnes's name on it I have no idea. Now I know Brooke. She'd never go hire mercs. I even contacted her for a confirm. Sure enough, she was gorram upset they used her name to do anythin'. She wanted nothin' to do with Delta or his crew. So I passed hte info on to Seana so she knew what all was goin' on and that Brooke wasn't involved with em."

Picked up the bales and took em to the far end of the pens. Cutting the twine and grabbin' handfuls, I loaded the feed bins with hay. "At least you all like seein' me 'round. "Pattin' em as I went along. "When the rodeo finally got under way, we had a bunch of folk come to have fun. Tried to get involved, but somehow it just didn't make me happy. Then that night.... AororaBlue won the Princess of the rodeo contest. Krenshar didn't bring her. Figures. I was there. Then he made some insane claim on Lily. She didn't b'long to anyone." Slammed my other fist into one of the metal pen supports. Didn't care if I broke somethin' at that point. "I knew she could feel what I was feelin', even the pain. Maybe she'd know I was still alive and thinkin' of her."

"Decided to build another ship. I know Seana's tryin' to get me my ship back, but til then I need somethin' to keep me busy. I thought 'bout it when I met up with Haley. A small bundle of energy all wrapped up in a beagle's body. For a short time, I had a little fun playin' withHaley while Seana caught a shuttle on down to the surface. When she got there, we talked for a bit. She's been as close as anyone can get to a parent since Duncan. Not sure I can talk to her on my feelin's right now. I know I can't with Lily now. She's too busy with other stuff. Buildin' and all for Xoxo. Speakin' of... She showed up and got on me again. She's startin' to treat me like she does Lily. Don't know if I can think of it as a compliment or not. Gorram woman."

Drivin' the mule back to the hangaafter feedin' the animals didn't do a thing for my mood. "She likes makin' nice then chews you out. Never know when she goes ballistic. But she was focused on Davion this time. Made sure to warn him 'bout her." Headed for the mines. Been a place I could go to get some quiet. I moved down deeper into the darkness where I didn't need to wear shades. "What if I climbed down deep. Farther down then I ever been. Sort of like the black but with gravity." The florescent lichens looked like stars glowin' in the black. "Maybe I'd just slip awaydown here. Was she lonely like me? Missin' me as much as I was her? Aiya, it was hard not to after gettin' a pic of her from somewhere. Found it near my bedroll in the eagle's nest. Was a pic of her sleepin' on a fur in a little indian costume. Not sure who sent it...." Needed to climb further down. Not wantin' to slip and fall. "Dark, queit, and cool... I shut down my radio. No one on the surface needed me right now. Anyone wants me, they can climb on down and find me."

Don't care over much now. "Down here I can escape the verse and all its noise and light. Nothin' but my thoughts, memories , and feelin's to keep me company down here. The gravity that holds me in place... No one else can understand, 'cept one... Far away in the verse."