Keepin' Busy

"Seems things can change as fast as the wind. Been everythin' from buildin's bein' built while others been torn down for new apartments." Grabbed up a bale of hay to feed the horses and cattle at the rodeo site. Someone's gotta do it. "Lot happened after we left that rim world. Had to head back... at least to somewhere where we could get a signal." cuttin' the twine holdin' the hay bale together, I took good handfuls for the hay nets. "It was time we left back to familiar territory." The horses greeted me then went to eat after I filled their nets with fresh hay. "Made contact with a friend to pick us up and take us to AL Raqis. Not the first choice of places to head to, but no real 'liance 'round in those parts. When we got there, the captain locked us in the ship for the night. Seems AuroraBlue woke up b'fore I did and got outside somehow." Had to go fetch another bale for the other horses.

"She was out wanderin' the edge of the dunes watchin' the giant worms out on the sand when I found her. Jai happened to be there and offered us a place to stay at the Zenobian embassy. Didn't take us long to rest up after a long hot day. She was startin' to burn a little fromt he sun, so I told it might be better to stay inside durin' the day and move around by night. AuroraBlue was sleepin' a lot. Coulda been the heat or her growth spurt." Had to to get the other animals fed. It's been all I could do to keep my own self busy. "After a couple of days I had to go find us some food. Most of the stuff on AL Raqis has spice in it. I knew I couldn't eat it, and I wasn't sure it was a good idea for her to either. So I spent most of a day to find some offworld food and barther for it." Took a bale of hay to the bull pens. Cut the twine and shook it out for em.

"Then while I was out there looking for more food, I got a call from the captain friend. She told me AuroraBlue came ot her and sort of asked to be flown to see Krenshar. I was about half crazed after Krenshar threatened to kill her. Had the captain rush me back to Hale's Moon. I didn't care who saw me runnin' 'round. I needed to know she was ok. When I got there Lily met up with me. She stopped me.... She never did tell me why. Just said I couldn't go get her. Not to go near her. Whether for her safety or not I didn't know. My world was wobblin'... And my friend was tellin' me stay away." Punched the fencin', crackin' the wood with my fist. Hardly felt the pain. "What she was doin' to me by sayin' that. Like askin' me to cut my own heart out. But if it kept AuroraBlue safe, I stay away."

"Made my own self busy buildin' pens and the stands while the rodeo got ready to open. Was all I could do. Work... work hard so I could fall asleep and not dream. Did what I could durin' the event too. Didn't help overmuch to ease the pain I was in."No one'd know how much I was hurtin' inside. Ain't been sleepin'. Had to resort to meds to help me sleep. Doc don't know I been raidin' her lockers for stuff... At least for now." Grabbed two more bales for the horses in the pens. "Then there's the mercs that come to Hale's Moon. Delta and hus crew. When Bram and I talked to him, he said Brooke sent him our way. Said he was being paid to look for hard line 'liance folks. Showed us the list. Now why was Nack Barnes's name on it I have no idea. Now I know Brooke. She'd never go hire mercs. I even contacted her for a confirm. Sure enough, she was gorram upset they used her name to do anythin'. She wanted nothin' to do with Delta or his crew. So I passed hte info on to Seana so she knew what all was goin' on and that Brooke wasn't involved with em."

Picked up the bales and took em to the far end of the pens. Cutting the twine and grabbin' handfuls, I loaded the feed bins with hay. "At least you all like seein' me 'round. "Pattin' em as I went along. "When the rodeo finally got under way, we had a bunch of folk come to have fun. Tried to get involved, but somehow it just didn't make me happy. Then that night.... AororaBlue won the Princess of the rodeo contest. Krenshar didn't bring her. Figures. I was there. Then he made some insane claim on Lily. She didn't b'long to anyone." Slammed my other fist into one of the metal pen supports. Didn't care if I broke somethin' at that point. "I knew she could feel what I was feelin', even the pain. Maybe she'd know I was still alive and thinkin' of her."

"Decided to build another ship. I know Seana's tryin' to get me my ship back, but til then I need somethin' to keep me busy. I thought 'bout it when I met up with Haley. A small bundle of energy all wrapped up in a beagle's body. For a short time, I had a little fun playin' withHaley while Seana caught a shuttle on down to the surface. When she got there, we talked for a bit. She's been as close as anyone can get to a parent since Duncan. Not sure I can talk to her on my feelin's right now. I know I can't with Lily now. She's too busy with other stuff. Buildin' and all for Xoxo. Speakin' of... She showed up and got on me again. She's startin' to treat me like she does Lily. Don't know if I can think of it as a compliment or not. Gorram woman."

Drivin' the mule back to the hangaafter feedin' the animals didn't do a thing for my mood. "She likes makin' nice then chews you out. Never know when she goes ballistic. But she was focused on Davion this time. Made sure to warn him 'bout her." Headed for the mines. Been a place I could go to get some quiet. I moved down deeper into the darkness where I didn't need to wear shades. "What if I climbed down deep. Farther down then I ever been. Sort of like the black but with gravity." The florescent lichens looked like stars glowin' in the black. "Maybe I'd just slip awaydown here. Was she lonely like me? Missin' me as much as I was her? Aiya, it was hard not to after gettin' a pic of her from somewhere. Found it near my bedroll in the eagle's nest. Was a pic of her sleepin' on a fur in a little indian costume. Not sure who sent it...." Needed to climb further down. Not wantin' to slip and fall. "Dark, queit, and cool... I shut down my radio. No one on the surface needed me right now. Anyone wants me, they can climb on down and find me."

Don't care over much now. "Down here I can escape the verse and all its noise and light. Nothin' but my thoughts, memories , and feelin's to keep me company down here. The gravity that holds me in place... No one else can understand, 'cept one... Far away in the verse."

Capture, Escape, and Hide

"She was growin' again. Now she wass losin' her teeth. She keeps up and she'll have a few days of eatin' soft food." It did look a might strange, her front teeth were gone. "But I can see where she's got teeth startin' to come in where the others come out. That and she grew again. I had to work to pay for the clothes we borrowed, but she needed em bad. That's ok by me. Workin' in a garage was nothin' new to make some money. But the old combustion engines I was seein' were gorram sad. The whole planet was lost in the past as far as I could see. Tryin' to hide here was like over a year ago. Work and lay low. Same as b'fore."

"Seems things got a little out of hand well over a week ago. Was stayin' at the tower while I waited for Seana to bring Anna back. When I heard they were back, I headed for Seana's office. She said my little one was awake.... And in town." Got me worried someone might spot her out there. "I grabbed a shuttle and landed it. She was there waitin'. And all the time that gorram sensation was settin' in my head. It wasn't goin' away. She didn't say anythin'. Didn't matter to me, She was awake and smilin' at me. I took her to get somethin' to eat at Fooks.... but I don't r'member much of it. Like my head was somewhere else..... And Kitten. I could hear her... Like she was everywhere... Not sure. I know AuroraBlue heard it too. Kitten was sayin' she loved us.... and then she said goodbye.... It was like my head suddenly exploded. Like she pulled a plug." I wiped my hands on the work rag from my back pocket. Then leaned further over the engine to see why the rotor wasn't sparkin' the plugs.

"I woke up in Krenshar's lab. Figures. I bet he did somethin' to me while I was down. At least AuroraBlue stayed with me. She was the first thing I saw when I woke up. Her eyes were shinin' bright worryin' over me. But she was wantin' me up and out of there fast. My head was feelin' all empty and clouded. And I could smell blood... Had nose bleeds b'fore." But I knew this wasn't from a headache.... It was Kitten's force of her tryin' to tell me goodbye that did it. "We got to the tower where I could lay down for a few hours. Barely r'member settin' on the couch when I feel asleep. Woke up a couple hours later and she was asleep, curled up over on Lily's bed. I got up and washed my face and changed into some clothes Lily'd found and left for me, so I changed quick and went outside. I needed some air. Spent most of the rest of the day just watchin' the eagles flyin' on the thermals." Checked each of the spark plug wires. Nothin' looked loose or freyed.

"Seems I remember a day somethin' like that b'fore when Lily was takin' care of me while I was healin'. She'd opened the tower windows so I could see outside. There was an eagle flyin' up there. R'minded me of an old story my Pa used to tell. it was that the eagle was the messenger of the Great Spirit. It carried the words and prayers of the people to the the Great Spirit. Each day the eagle'd come down to listen and each night it would fly up and speak the words and prayers of the people. Yeah.. there was more to the story, but don't feel much like tellin' it." Nothin' wrong with the connectors, so I started removing the plugs to check the gaps and see if any needed to be replaced. " While AuroraBlue slept I sent my own prayer on with the eagles that day. It gave me time to grieve. No one needed to see me and I wanted a little time alone to do it."

"She was gone. No more whispers." Someone got hold of her... That much I figured out...."She was scared when she 'talked' to us. That much AuroraBlue and I could feel. Then she was gone. AuroraBlue woke up and found me settin' outside leanin' against the wall. She sat next to me then hugged me tight. Tears in her eyes too. We sat there for a while not needin' to say anythin'. She touched my face, looked at me, then pointed into the sky. I nodded to her knowin' we'd need to leave. Needin' to hide." Lily'd told me to be ready to go soon. Not sure when we'd have to though. "That next day AuroraBlue went to visit with Seana while I packed stuff. Thats when I saw a ship come in. Wasn't sure but it looked like Pod's ship. Hadn't seen him in a long while, so I went to check if it was him." Big mistake. I was a gorram idiot. "Didn't spot the pilot so I went to ask someone at Fooks. Thats when I caught a whiff of someone I vaguely remembered.... The Marshall from Evestown."

"No fightin', Xoxo said. She wanted me not to fight when they come for me. I didn't, but I didn't say I wasn't goin' to run. Moved fast and tried to keep the Marshall from gettin' too close. But he learned fast. Even yelled that I was bound by law. Wasn't goin' to give in. Not yet. I dove and ducked behind a post. I wasn't carryin' and here he was shootin' at me. Grazed my side. But thats not what stopped me cold. I didn't want AuroraBlue to feel my pain if I got shot bad. I let the gorram Marshall take me in." Yep a few plugs needed replacin'. Went to the cabinet where the plugs were and checked em against the old numbers. "He flew me back to Persephony. Wanted to know why all I shot him in the first place. Did it matter to him? I was helpin' Immy. She'd been there for me a number of times. I owed her. Ended up bein' left in the local jail there."

Took the plugs out of the boxes and gapped em b'fore puttin' em into place. "Took some time to talk to the sheriff there. She told me why she didn't much like the 'laince.... Guh se, she had a bomb chip in her brainpan. She did a little first aid on me then talked 'bout maybe turnin' her back while I walked out.... When I get a chance, I'm goin' to talk Doc Danick into goin' to help her. The doc dug the chip outa my own brainpan. Maybe she could do the same for the sheriff." Had to watch screwin' the plugs back in. Gorram old style ceramic. "Then Lily came in and drugged the sheriff then we left there in a hurry. Once we got back to Hale's she had me hide in her ship.... Where she had some explosives. I could smell the chemicals strong in there." The plug wires went on pretty easy. "Bram got there to take me and AuroraBlue off Hale's and far away from the system. Thought he was gone. he thought I was dead. We didn't have a lot of time to get AuroraBlue from the orbital. As soon as I had her strapped in with our gear, Bram headed into the black."

"We landed late. Was pretty dark and quiet outside of town. Bram set the ship down well away from anywhere local. I could handle hikin' into town. We talked for a a short time then he had to go. Wouldn't be good for folks to come lookin' for the strange flyin' object here. Seems they get a might spooked over that sort of stuff. AuroraBlue was asleep so I carried her and the pack out to the beach I r'membered from over a year ago. Was quiet there. Set up a place then tucked her into the sleeping bag. It wasn't long b'fore I had a small fire lit and and a spot where I could stretch out my own self." Made a check of the oil. Was down a half liter... Pints... Aiya, had to get that right.....I shook my head tryin' to get it strait. "When mornin' broke we broke camp and wandered into the small community of native Ams. This place was a lot like Earth that was. Even down to places like old time reservations. Old books talked 'bout em. Pretty sad how folks had to live there. We were greeted like family. The old story teller, more like shaman r'membered me and invited us to stay with him and his family."

Wiped down the lip of the oil feed then tightened the cap. "Felt a little like home. They were havin' some troubles with indigents and some of the young fellers were dealin' with it. To be safe they told us to stay close to town or the homes on the desiganted reservation land. They were pretty taken with AuroraBlue too. One of the kids gave her a small dream catcher. Said it was special. She looked at it with a big smile then showed me. Was god to see her happy. She went and played with the kids while I sorted out work and clothin' for her. Then I was out there with the kids my own self." Yeah, I'm big kid my own self. Had to chuckle at that. "Felt good to just by my own self. Not havin' to watch my back. And bein' a friend for AuroraBlue. She was losin' teeth.... Had to get her new shoes for out here cause the ground was cold and wet. That and a few pairs of clothes. Lucky for me one of the lady folk offered to help buy stuff that fit better on AuroraBlue. Her old clothes were gettin' too tight and small."

"We heard word of some hikers gettin' killed by a bear, or a pack of wolves. Seems this planet's teemin' with wildlife." Better then reavers, I was thinkin'. Most times fire and loud sound's'll scare em off. "We went into town the other day. One of the fellers was visitin' a friend. Seems she was in what they call high school where we got to meet a few Kids there. One girl come up and was taken with AuroraBlue. Was sort of both ways. Not sure what all that meant, but so long as she was safe and happy, that's what mattered to me. They shared their food with us then AuroraBlue was tryin' to let me know she had a headache. She had a nose bleed too. Got me real worried. I took her back home and let her rest up. Then she tore through another pair of pants. Was lucky I had a bigger shirt on her. Found a bigger pair of pants for her to change into." The nose bleed had me wonderin' if it had to do with her abilities.

"She showed me a few pics she had. One of Krenshar and one of Lily. I had to choose one. Not sure what all it menat. I chose Lily as someone who'd be there for her in case somethin' did happen to me. Krenshar, I warned her away from. She went to the old computer cortex that was in the room. Brought up a pic of Lily and Kitten. Then they were gone. AuroraBlue wavin' at em. Not sure what all that meant. I hope I picked right. Lily was one of the closest things to family, like Kitten, and AuroraBlue." She wasn't even talkin' to me in my own head of late. Got me worried. But in her own time, maybe she'll say somethin'. Just got to wait for her to decide when.


"My little one knows what I'm thinkin'. Seems we got a connection. More then Kitten or Lally had with me. It's like we can see into each other's mind. See what all's there. Feel it too. Lily said somethin' 'bout it to me. If I got hurt bad AuroraBlue'd know it.... maybe feel it too. Same with her. I think why I didn't feel her when she fell was cause Kitten had my brainpan all messed up..... No walls now." And there was a lot there. "I seen what all AuroraBlue had in her head. A lot of the past. She, like Lily, knew what all went on in the past. She needed to be able to make sense of it and I'd do what I could to help. At least for now we could deal with it while we're in hidin' out here. Where it was more peaceful. Where she could grow at her own pace. I had to try to explain 'bout AuroraBlue's growin' to my friends. They accepte it quietly, vowing to keep our secret." One of the other mechanics turned the enigne over. It started up right off.

"Lot happened for only a short time. But these last couple day's been helpin' me and her have fun as kids. So yeah, I'm older, bigger and a lot stronger, but it felt good to laugh again. To forget the verse for a while. I could see the time we been spendin' rompin' 'round with the kids and havin' a good time was helpin' her a lot too. You could see her more relaxed. Not like she was back on Hale's Moon. Here she could just be a kid and play with other kids. Took her fishin' yesterday too. She had fun when she caught a salmon her own self. She wanted to hold it up and show it off to everyone when we got back to the house. I couldn't of been more proud of her." The other mechanic drove the old truck outside while I went and washed the grease off my hands. "Yep, we ate good that night. Tonight'll be good. Seems the community on the reservation's havin' a night of stories and a big old cookout. Here we don't have to hide. The 'verse's vast. A lot of places out there. Some the 'laince just let go and forgot over the years. Leavin' worlds and moons to develope or revert back on their own. Hidin', but not out in the black."

Gravity

"It's been one long night....Sittin' here on the floor in the clinic. Anna got hurt... Hurt bad." My heart was still hammerin' over seein' her all broken."Somehow things over the last few days been.... well, complicated..... Not sure if thats the right words for it. I went from bein' spun 'bout to caught in a gravity I can't escape. Like a planet settlin' into it's orbit for the first time." I signed thinkin' of it... Only a few days..."Lily was all excited 'bout her new dress... Weddin' dress. Even said she had one all picked out for Anna. She went to talk to the shepard 'bout doin' the ceremony, then told me 'bout that a few days ago.... but then things started to get gorram confusin'."

"Anna was growin' again. She'd gotten taller. Looked older too. Noticed how her hair got a little darker... and her eyes... They looked different too... Not blue... almost a golden brown.... Seems Lily'd done somethin'... She shut down... no, she severed all the feeds and conections to everythin'... and everyone. She even killed the feeds for the cortex here on the moon. Said it'd keep Anna safe. She was babblin' on 'bout stuff, but not stoppin' to explain what all she was sayin' or doin'."Reachin' over I took AuroraBlue's hand. Holdin' that little hand was like a lifeline for us both.... "That got me worked up when she said it was to keep Anna safe. Thats when I hightailed it to the mines. I knew then then my little one was not on Boros for sure, but down there."

"Deeper, I went. I could catch her scent.... Soft smellin' like a meadow full of flowers on a warm summer day.... It'd come up on the slight updrafts flowin' through the dark shafts. Didn't need much light to go by to follow it. And the sounds... like the whole moon was alive. She was down there. Took me near a whole day of climbin' to get to where all she was. She jumped out from a boulder tryin' to surprize me." Had to chuckle at her excitement and big smile, "I scooped her right up, like she was a feather in my arms. My little sunshine." We talked while I climbed back up. Sometimes lettin' her piggyback on me, sometimes climbin' with me. She told me it was a secret to be down there. That her and Lily played hide and sneak down there."

Lily..... What could I say..."She come up to me the other day wantin' me to talk to Anna 'bout stayin' out of the mines... It was all dangerous... And not for cave in's.... No... Somethin' lurked down there.... Bot's.. Warbots... And the motherbot... Lily ain't one to be tellin' tales on that stuff, so I said I'd talk to her. Of late it's been hard to say no to Anna. Who can? AuroraBlue. She decided she wanted me to call her AuroraBlue. I could still call her Anna when folks were 'round. She was right. Her name was AuroraBlue. She was growin' up. Went to talk to Seana and there was Lily... She was gettin' agitated when AuroraBlue showed up. Lily was harsh speakin' to her. Got me riled to see Lily actin' like that. I took over and started to tell her when Lily up and grabbed my lower leg... And dug her claws deep. Even hissed at me." Scratchin' my healin' wounds, I still couldn't figure what all she did it for. "Anna asked me to let her. As a compromise, I offered to go with her next time she went. Lily'd have none of it. She yelled at her and made her follow to Lily's small apartment. Said for me to stay out of it. It had me fumin'."

The echo of Lily sayin' her and Gallagher were very happy with Anna, echoed again in my head...."Lily was still thinkin' of Gallagher. My friend G..... Not 'bout her and me.... she got to talkin' to AuroraBlue.... but then my world shifted out of focus.... Somethin' had hold of me... my head was buzzin' like no tomorrow. I lost track of what all happened for maybe 'bout an hour or so. Took me a while to get back to town. It'd been happenin' of late. Like someone hangin; onto me. Wasn't all sure what it was... But it's got me bothered."

"Headed back to Fook's. Maybe Anna and Lily'd be back there. Seana was talkin' to Lily...But then I'd heard somethin' 'bout poison and hair needles... Lily had a few for emergencies. Was just happy my little one wasn't harmed. Don't know what all I woulda done if somethin' did." Thoughts of a sun goin' supernova and crushin' me sounded close...."Ended up on Fook's roof. The old Osprey was settin' there where someone had parked it. Could hear Lily and Owl talkin'. My ears can hear pretty good at distance. So it wasn't hard to hear when Lily and her got to talkin' of broken hearts."

Decided to lean back against the cool concrete of the clinic as I watched her breathin' steady. In rhythm with mine. Slow and steady. "Lily wasn't really wantin' to marry me. It was to hide her own broken heart... The one for Gallagher." I squeezed her little hand in my big one. "I knew I had to talk to Lily.... B'fore we both made a bad mistake. When Lily said she'd sent AuroraBLue to me later that day, I wasn't happy. She never made it to me. I decided to head to the mines. Lily could come or not.... Her choice. Nothin' like a good dose of mad and worry to spur you to move fast. Got deep down into the mines pretty quick... And there she was. My little one... grown a little more. She was taller. Her hair seemed a little darker then a few days earlier.... she wanted to show me her new mask..."Looked a lot like Lily. "Had to chuckle at that. It was cute. Then she wanted to show me her new dress for the weddin'..."

"She went into a side tunnel and changed.... While she did, she told me somethin' that got me real riled up. Lily took her to an adoption agency. To give her away. That was somethin' she had no real right to do. She'd have had to talk with me and Seana on that first. I told AuroraBlue, no way was I givin' her up. It hurt to even think of my AuroraBlue taken away. Lily'd gone too far this time. That was 'bout when she came out of the tunnel in her dress. She was growin' into a beautiful young lady. For the first time I was taken aback... Like puzzle peices... scattered fallin' into place. I told AuroraBlue... no, promised her, I'd never leave her. My proof of what I meant was all made up into one bracelet. Silver and gold. What all I had left of my stash went into makin' it. Put my name on it too.... Wasn't sure why I made it at first... maybe to keep my own self busy while I figured what all to say to Lily. But at that moment I knew I'd made it for her.. for AuroraBlue."

"She looked at it and put it right on. When she said she was Aurora Winterwolf, there was nothin' else. What all could I say. Bein' blind and seein' the sun for the first time. Gravity shifted. My world fell into orbit. there was nothin' else. The Sun shone beyond time itself. Her eyes were not the eyes of a child." I rubbed my eyes with my free hand knowin' it all sounded too far fetched. "Now gravity was goin' to change my life forever. It wasn't Lily. She was the hydrogen, the spark that set the Sun to burnin' so powerful. In turn it created the gravity that caught me. Stopped my spinnin' 'bout."I shook my head thinkin' of how it all sounded. "Now b'fore you go to judgin' this, you best listen careful! AuroraBlue was a baby not all that far back. She grew fast. Not like a regular baby. She could talk well b'fore most youngin's can walk. She could read through a manual as fast as me. Her growin' is part of who she is.. and will be. I watched as she grew a foot in a day. Felt her pain when she screamed as her bones stretched."

"AuroraBlue'll be a teen b'fore long. Then a grown woman in as much time. She's been workin' out information as fast as she can b'fore then. She knows she'll be older soon. It's what she's meant to be. Nothin' any of us can to do stop that growth> For now I'd be her friend and guardian. Whatever she needed me to be." I looked back up at her, prayin' she'd wake up soon. Needin' for her to. "Seein' her so still....."I swiped at the tear. "I said I'd stay with her. I meant it. What got us in this spot tonight? Like I was sayin' earlier.... I needed to talk to Lily.. to stop somethin' we'd both end up regrettin' in the end. Lily showed up in her white gown... She looked nice. But it still wasn't what I was seein' at that point. I wanted some answers.. Some truth. I'd always been honest with her. Told her stuff.... Here she was, plannin' on takin' AuroraBlue away. I wanted to hear her explain. I knew Anna was up on the roof... But not on that gorram old ship... Lily was out the door to go get her. Next thing I know She's askin' me to hurry out to help her. My whole world spun out of orbit.. wobbled in its gravity... There was AuroraBLue layin' on the ground all broken and bleedin'.. She'd fallen off the ship and landed on the ground next to Fook's. Three stories up."

I could see no changes in her as she lay there. "I picked her up like she was a fractured glass egg. Lily ran to call for help while I moved slowly with my little one. B'fore long Sentry, Yanto, and Venice showed up. They worked on her best they could... When Sentry told me how bad she was hurt.... It felt like that nova was goin' to crush the life out of me... and send me spinnin' out of control. Broken bones, damaged vertebrae, ruptured organs. Yanto used somethin' to stop the bleedin' inside. Two things mixed to help... Then she started to heal. her body was respondin'.. my world started to spin back into orbit again. Sentry scanned her again while Yanto and Venice checked vitals and wrapped her injuries. All I could do was stand back and watch. Tillery showed up offerein' any help he could too.

"Later, Lily finally decided to come and check on AuroraBlue. She was quiet and distant when she saw me. She didn't ask much... just how the cub was.... then she said some stuff. Stuff 'bout how wakin' and sleepin' you saw only that one person. Like knowin' their scent. Workin' together like night and day. all the while she was pullin' off the weddin' dress and tossin' it to the ground. Like she was sheddin' her old self for somethin new." Lily had it right. "I knew AuroraBlue imprinted on me when she was a baby. It was somethin' that no one of us had control over. It happened. But I knew she was a part of me. She was whole cause a part of my soul was livin' in her. Blue knew it. When I went into that big reactor all that long ago to get Lily... I aughta have died that day. But it was Blue who protected me. Needed me to do the right thing. I was willin' to die to save Lily. That small part of me was saved to finish the puzzle that was AuroraBlue. Lily didn't know at the time. She found out later I think. Cause then she told me."

"Gravity does some strange things. Alters tides, changes seasons, keeps the atmo around the world. The sun warms it, helps it to grow and bring new life. Keeps it stable. Holds everythin' together in the verse." And that verse just got a lot brighter.

Whispers

"It's been a while since I had a chance to not have to hide myself. Yeah..... Gallagher's Idea. Ever since the gorram 'laince showed up and took my ship I been stranded. Then a couple of bounty hunters showed up.... Never heard em or saw em. I was tryin' to get a bead on where I could find a new hidin' spot." I sighed. That wasn't it.... "I had my guard down. But somethin' was botherin' me. Somethin' in the back of my head. Like.... I don't rightly know..... like whispers. Faint." Shakin' my head, I decided to move further down into the mine. I know she was there..... I could sometimes catch a faint scent on the updrafts.

"I was workin' on out runnin' em. Had to get away. Instinct? When your hunted you run or fight. Somethin'...... had me runnin' instead of squarin' off with em. So I did. One of had some sort of power armor on.... I could hear the whirrin' of the gears as it cought up to me. Then somethin' hard slammed into the back of my head..... Then nothin'...." Yeah, I got hit... but what the gorram hell was it? What had me runnin' instead of fightin'? I wasn't scared of a fight. Never was." Next thing I know, I got cuffs on and Gallagher talkin' to em. One of em threw a warrent at him and told him to back off. For once, G was at a loss. He read it and said he was sorry to me. I knew it wasn't his fault."

Yeah I was makin' a big humpin' mess of it, "I ended up in one of the cells. Wanted to get my hands on at least one. Flexxed my arms and saw the links warp. Flexxed again and they warped more. Thats when one of em decided to weld the cell door closed on me. Got me riled. Then they left, grinnin' over their catch..... But not b'fore one said somethin' 'bout the 'bot who set the bounty..... The only 'bot on Hale's Moon....... Krenshar." That got me. Krenshar and I had a mutual if grudgin' respect. Cause we both loved Lily." Lookin' 'round carefully, I headed for the mines again.... I was feelin' the need to go further into the mines.... to see if she was there or really on Boros.

"Lily Broke me out later that night. Blew the door off it's hinges while folks were at Firefly's. No one heard the explosion. She hid me in Bramm's place. He wasn't 'round.... He'd been gone a while. I didn't want Gallagher involved. He was a friend and I didn't want to ruin his connections and standin' with the 'liance. But he offered what help he could. Then G came up with a plan to hide me in plain sight...... Right... I stuck out like a sore thumb... Waitin' to be cut off while I hid at the Hemlock."

"First was the change of clothes..... I felt like all strange wearin' a suit..... Never liked em much. Then He told me to let my hair grow out....That and grow a goatee. He handed me glasses and a watch to add to the whole mess. I spent a few more days while workin' on tryin' to sound..... more like I was from the core. G gave me some wave feeds to practice with. Yeah.... me passin' off as a businessman... workin' for Dharma.... And sellin' ship parts. One good thing.... The 'laince didn't go into the Applecado containers that had the stuff I salvaged a while ago... Had some good stuff in em ready for sale or use for my cover. G introed me a few days back. I wasn't likin' bein' so exposed and no weapons." That was goin' to change.... I needed to get a gun or somethin'... A knife even..."Later, met up with Lily... she knew who all I was.... Even with the cologne G had me put on. I couldn't stand the stink."

"Her and I danced for a bit. Was good to be with her again. Just the two of us. Dancin'. Didn't take long b'fore someone showed up and Lily in her way tried to hide who I was. Lily had to go work that night. Finishin' the Companion house. I ended up in Firefly's bar. And there was Xoxo...." She was the one person I didn't want to see. "I kept goin' over work lists in my head when she started talkin' to me. She didn't look as well as she used to. She was lookin' tired... Worn.... We sat for a short time and talked... Shop. What else could I do.. I had to keep the work lists in my head. I knew her.. knew her abilities."

"She went for my hand, so I thought of those lists. Looked like it sort of frustrated her. She gave me her card sayin' she'd like to see me again.... Not likely to happen... Don't want to be alone with her... She'd blow my cover in a heartbeat. Too much goin' on..... I left, tuckin' her card into the borrowed jacket. I had to leave... But where's there to run, when the 'liance is in orbit and no ship to esacpe with.... Then theres Anna. I know she was in those mines. Hid way down on the lower levels...." Yeah, I was missin' my little one. She was my bright spot in all the chaos.

"Thinkin' 'bout her playin' with me and dogs down in Hemlock helped some. Then suddenly she had a growin' spurt. A bad one. Lily suggested the river up at the companion's Hotel. I climbed into the stream and held onto her so she'd be safe. It 'bout killed me to see her hurtin' so bad. It was sort of strange how when I went to touch her little face Lily was thinkin' the same thing.... Was doin' the same thing. But then Lily had to leave. Lily said there was clothes up in the office Anna could wear. Then things really changed... She had a huge growth spurt.... She grew again... Sudden like. I knew it'd happen, but not so gorram fast. Now she was bigger and screamin' at me not to look at her... I think I was more embarrassed then she was. I grabbed a towel and handed it to her behind my back. My little one wasn't so little now....."

"We made a visit to Krenshar at her request. I wasn't sure it was a good idea, but took her. The meetin' wasn't so good." rubbing my neck didn't help to ease the tension, "He wanted some of her DNA. Didn't care 'bout her. Here was the truth of it. She was whole. Fixed, by his terms. But he didn't see it. Didn't see AuroraBlue. He saw nothin' but a DNA supply....", I growled rememberin' the whole scene as it replayed in my head. "Jai was there, so was G. Krenshar didn't realize that AuroraBlue was whole. Real. Perfect. She was complete. His intent was to make a new Aurora.... But I knew he'd be makin' a big mistake.... Without a soul, AuroraBlue couldn't exist.... She'd die. Just like b'fore.... Relivin' the whole ugly mess. When Xoxo told me to find Lily that one day.... in the big reactor. And Blue saying he would never hurt me....Its when I realized my part in it..... A small part of me for a part of AuroraBlue. The last piece in the puzzle to fix her. Somethin' I don't regret. Maybe why she imprinted on me. Cause she had part of me in her."

Sighin' and movin' down further, I stopped to grab a breather. Didn't need much in the way of light, just a small set of chem sticks. "Then there's been the nightmares all over again...... Somethin'.... Not sure what all it was.... But the whispers.... Thats the only word I could put to em... Not sure why... I ain't a reader. But somethin'd been botherin' me of late.... Like somethin' bad's goin' to happen...," Deeper... Had to go deeper. "There it was again... I could hear it... All in my head. One of my nightmares.... Kitten, settin' in a chair. Her eyes wide open... screamin' but nothin' comin' out.... " I'd remember her sayin' it was bad where she was bein' trained. They hurt her.. Put needles into her arms andinto her head...." I felt myself gettin' mad. Real mad. So I started movin' faster down into the dark. Not makin' a sound.

"Anna had run off after huggin' me and sayin' thank you and that she loved me. Tore me up bad. Blue said I'd have to let go at some point. I just didn't know who.... or when. Then she was in the main Mine shaft... the main truck that led to the other parts. She asked me for the ring. The one ring Lily gave me. I couldn't say no. That ring'd been a part of me since Lily gave it to me. My lifeline to her. Anna took it sayin' she knew it was. Then she was gone... Deep into the tunnels. G and I just stood there. I couldn't move... I was numb.... Hurt... She was gone. Lily was on spice... Kitten gone." My chest was hurtin'.... not from the workout I was gettin' form bein' down here searchin'....It was somethin' else. "That whisper again..." Frownin' I stopped, tryin' to listen to it....." Lily was talkin' to me today... 'bout her shuttin' down the communications..... Everywhere in the area 'round Hale's.... Said she was cuttin' off Ardra's growth. Then Lily thought she saw Anna.... I chased her tryin' to get an answer.... She was confusin' me with what all she was sayin'. That and the gorram whisper... It wasn't lettin' up.... I told Lily I had to find AuroraBlue.... I needed to make sure she was ok. I didn't want to lose her to Ardra like I amost did with Lily."

"I was Anna's Protector. I'd die for her. And here I was all muddled with stange sounds in my head... And her down in the tunnels. Hidin' or scared... Not sure which one." I was pretty deep now. The whispers were even here. Dark and silent, 'cept for the slow drip of water from small condensed rock. "She was my Little one. Needed to know she was safe. Got to find her." The whispers still in my head, the climbin' helped me stay focused. "Nothin' else matters but findin' her.... Maybe she was the whisper. Maybe my conscience for lettin' her run off down here."Either way I needed to bring her back safe."

New Revelations

"Sounds tend to carry, even down in the Hemlock. I was hearin' somethin' up by the Shadow. Couldn't see up there, but I sure could hear when the aft hatch opened. Gorram, someone was in my ship. I contacted Brooke over the wave to see if she could check into it." Walkin' outside in the dark when most folks were inside was the only time I could get outside now.... gorram martial law here. "Seems a few days later some trooper was in the bar tellin' folks they took my ship and was lookin' for me. Miya contacted me. Was her who told me what all happened. Got to watch out now.

Climbing up to the cliffs was gettin' easier. And a quicker way to skirt town without bein' seen. "Anna's been wantin' to do more of late. So I been takin' her for midnight walks along the hills just outside of town. Showed her some survival stuff while we were there. She might be small, but I know how smart she is. She picks up on everythin'. She started growin' a little too. Had to find some new clothes for her to wear. Wasn't easy seein' as how the department store was hit by an asteroid. Had to take a few pairs of clothes folks hung out to dry for their little ones. Not wantin' to just steal, I left em with some money. Hung it from the line for em."

"Then there's Lily..... She's addicted to spice.... She says to keep her small. Keep her from doin' Mindo's work. Thing is, what was his work exactly? Hell, I knew he'd had his hands in a lot of projects. Even one that he tried to get his sister to do.... One she refused. It's why Lily came to be. But Lily had more orders in her stored memory. he set her on tasks and recorded it all. Sort of like Kitten when she was chipped." I couldn't shake that somethin' was wrong.... Kitten was out there somewhere in the verse. And she wasn't communicatin'....or not able to....

My thoughts rattled back and forth over Kitten, Anna, and Lily. Family. "Anna, I knew what was goin' on with her. I was watchin' her learn and grow. Lily, not as much. She was tryin' to stay small with synthisized spice. And Kitten..... " I shook my head to try and clear it. "Now add Mister Krenshar into the mix. I think he's gone a might touched. He's been tryin' to run for sherriff. He says he's in pretty tight with the 'liance.... And that spells a lot of trouble for a lot of folk here. Somethin' else was botherin' me 'bout him.... somethin' I think Gallagher mentioned. Krenshar might be dosin' on spice too. If he is, then it's scrambled his artificial brain. Gallagher don't like it either. He's thinkin' its dangerous. We been tryin' to tell Lily that. She hears us, but she ain't listenin'....."

"Seems When somethin' happens, Krenshar has the means to fix whatever it is.... Like he planned it that way. I doubt anyone's goin' to listen though. They just want everythin' fixed. Seana is offworld. Not sure what all she had to leave for. Ain't goin' to ask either. Too many 'liance troopers movin' 'round. Looks like they even took over the mayor's office." Anna was runnin' 'round chasin' the dogs. She was movin' faster and gettin' more agile. I was proud of her. My little one was growin' up. Someday she'd be there to protect folks. "I knew more 'bout Anna, then anyone, save a few. Xoxo, Lily, Seana and a few others knew her and her origins. How she came 'bout."

"Lily told me some stuff of late. It set me back a might. Anna had a soul. A true connection with bein' human. it was the last part that was needed to "repair" her. It made her whole, and perfect. My little one. She was more a part of me then anyone will ever know. Lily even said as much.... well not in those words. But I understood for the first time what my part in Anna's life was. But Lily said somethin' else that turned my blood cold..... Krenshar was tryin' to build a new Aurora. One with no soul. He thinks she was better that way. He's insane. Maybe some cynapses failed in his brainpan. What he creates will be his own undoin', I think. No soul means no compassion or mercy. Not even for him if he gets in her way. I saw how Aurora treated him when she was alive. It wasn't good. She showed no respect. No carin' for anyone save herself."

Rubbin' my face, I could feel the tiredness creepin' in again. "Needed to stay awake and listenin' for trouble was more important of late. Sometimes Anna'd wake me up after I'd fall asleep." Seems she's started to listen while I was sleepin'. "Was her that told me of the asteroid hit. I was so gorram exhausted I didn't realize what all it was." I checked the time on the wall. Was gettin' late again. A little more time and I could take Anna back outside for a night walk and more survival trainin'."

"Lily contacted me to help with the space dome what was bein' built for the companion house. Went up there to do some weld work on the dome seals and the main platform. Took some days to do. She made sure I had a small shuttle to work from. Gorram short range shuttles. Ain't good for much but it got me back up into the black. Felt good to be back up there. Maybe when the 'liance leaves... or I get my ship back, I can get some salvage done again. Brooke ain't sent any waves. Startin' to think I'm bein' avoided. Can't blame anyone though. Anyone caught harbourin' a fugitive....." Sighin', I walked to the console to check on the radar high above Hale's. At least I could watch the air traffic from here. "While I was workin' Mister Glaze showed up. Lily went all strange when he showed. Not wantin' to get in the way of their reunion I went back to work on the welds. Made double sure everything was solid b'fore I moved to the next welding spot. When I was done, Lily asked me to follow her to one of the rooms. She said it was to check out the beds to make sure two people could lay in one."

My mind went back to the long convo we had when we lay there, "She told me a lot of stuff. Even accused me of killin' Mindo.....". My mind rewound and played the scene over again as he pulled the trigger and blew his own brains out. "I told her he did it to his own self. Told her 'bout his outfit and the strange way he was actin'. How I tried to hide the whole scene from Anna's eyes. Lily bit me cause she was so riled over it. I was a might riled myself for her not b'lievin' me. Afterward, she started to calm down and we talked. She told me 'bout Krenshar's plans for his own Aurora.... And 'bout what all he wanted. Somethin' I had hid away that he'd never find. She told me she knew everythin'..... I mean to say, everythin' from the past. Even with the reboots. She said she was still wantin' to marry me. Said she even bought a dress too. I want to marry her, but I don't know what all'll happen with her on spice. That and Ardra still bein' 'round. She even said somethin' 'bout Krenshar wanted her on spice too.... to control her? For what? Its got me bothered too. I'm goin' to have to tell Gallagher 'bout that. See if he can find anythin' out. We talked 'botu a feww more things b'fore Gallagehr found us layin' there in bed. We wasn't doin' nothin' but talkin'."

Then a few nights ago she was in the mines with me. She and I got to talkin'. I told her I might need to come down there to hide. I didn't tell her I might need to have Anna with me. I know for sure Anna'd be with me. No way could I just leave her with anyone now. Not with what was goin' on. Lily told me a lot of stuff was hid down deep... Burtied and hid well. In places most folk couldn't go. She got close to me again. I missed her bad. Lily was so ingrained in my senses. She purred as we hugged. Somethin' I missed too. Then she bit me in the neck. Two bites in near as many days..... I had to sneak into the clinic and grab some stuff to treat the bites. Seein'as I was down inthe mines more, didn't want to have em get infected. Just hope the doc don't notice I took a few things. I don't know when Lily and I'll be gettin' hitched for sure. Might have to be a quick and quiet one... Seein' as how I'm bein' looked for. Best get goin'.... Don't want to miss my walk with my daughter tonight."

Whispers in the Dark

I watched as Anna climbed up on Toby's back again. Wasn't easy gettin' that 'bot dog down here into Hemlock. She was thrilled no end. "Seems like I could almost hear the sounds of Lily's diggin' in the mines. I'd gone down there to see her...... Got a gorram shock to see her too. She'd changed....." I rubbed my face then looked back up at Anna as she giggled, "There she was, small like a kid. Wirey and all wild. I caught her scent. That I know didn't change. But she was now no more'n a child her own self now." Wasn't goin' to admit how it tore me up inside. "Now Lily was a whole new entity. Not my Lily, not the Lily we all knew. Some little feral child."

"She don't really know me or anyone, 'cept maybe Xoxo... And that's questionable at best too. I had to take AuroraBlue with me. No way could Lily handle another jolt. It might foul up what remained of her original programmin'. I think if Lily were in my position, she'da done the same. Keepin' Anna safe was the most important thing right now. But for how long could I protect my little one. I knew the 'laince'd be after me b'fore too much longer. I couldn't very well take her on the run. It's why I came back to Hale's. I had an obligation and a promise to keep." Anna was tuggin' on Toby's collar like it was a set of reins. She giggled and babbled at the old animal 'bot.

"To much goin' on in my head.....And with reaver's on the increase, I wasn't goin' to leave Anna unprotected. We listened sometimes to the distant wails and screams in the darkened Hemlock." I heard em way too well. It brought with it the nightmares from my past......"I woulda gone up to help, but it'd risk Anna and my chances of stayin' hid." That and I needed to keep her away from em. "Xoxo wasn't actin' right either. She'd been actin' more and more strange. We'd got talkin' on stuff. Stuff I already knew. What she didn't know was Lily'd bit me. She was a might unsure how to take that, seein' how Lily's the PAX. I don't mean square. I mean she's been built with PAX. Seems her bite didn't effect me. Didn't change me into a reaver. For whatever reasons...... Don't know. But it got Xoxo a little worried... Saw it in her face."

"She asked me 'bout Kitten... Where all she was. I kept wonderin' too. Where all was mei mei. Not like her to be gone so gorram long and not contact me. I have to let Brooke know she's gone missin'. But gettin' a wave out could be dangerous. I didn't need Brooke in trouble over me makin' a gorram mistake." Started pacin' the floor again. Anna looked up at me with her big blue eyes, "Papa.... Wong?" Lookin' back at her, I didn't know what to tell her, "Nothin', Little one. It's ok. Nothin' wrong." I wish I coulda believed it in my own head. "I could still hear the noises in the dark. The whispers from the past. The sounds of the dead. Whenever I closed my eyes, I heard em."

Lily came down to Hemlock the other day lookin' for somethin'. I was just glad I'd takin' Anna to the bunk room to nap when Lily'd come on down. She was like a small animal. She wanted to know where HAL was. Wanted it for bargainin'.... For what I didn't know. She left when I said it wasn't down here. Barely talk to me. I knew she was not thinkin' of anythin' b'yond the here and now of it. Needed what she needed and then she moved on." Whispers.... Darkness..... Cold and lonely down there. "Darkness was supposed to be quiet. Was supposed to be where you could heart your own heart a beatin'. Instead, it was sounds of ships and people moving above us." Anna'd leaned forward and was huggin' the old dog 'bot. And as usual the old thing kept callin' her Anya. Xoxo couldn't fix that. At least she had a play toy. Not just Dog and me now.

"I'd spotted Lily that other night out playin' in the little playground. Like she always did. But then she went to the department store and stole a big old Sapphire. Hid it in her old worn and dirty coveralls. I woulda stopped her, but what good would it do. I wasn't a deputy anymore.... I'd thrown that by the wayside when I shot the Marshall at Eavestown. She run off after that. Was Lily really gone? Who was this new Lily?" I looked down at the ring a Lily gave me to hold onto. Three tears on a silver band. Whispers of who Lily was. Xoxo was able to remove it when we were trying to save Lily from Ardra. Now it's stuck like glue on me again. But then again I wasn't goin' to leave it there on Xoxo's desk. What was Lily was still in there. Maybe it' was her whispers in the dark that I'd hear when I tried to sleep at night..... when things'd quiet down above us.

Leaky Brainpans

"So there I was, done cleanin' the Aldea's cargo hold. Then Lily finally showed up. But it wasn't her by much. Ardra was makin' her check systems. She wandered on past me to read the equipment. Once Ardra was done with her. she let Lily be herself again. Only then did Lily talk to me. She was becomin' Ardra's personal vehicle and puppet." Me pacin' 'round the Hemlock was startin' to make me feel caged up. "But it wouldn't be for a few days, that I'd found out Aldea was still 'hot'. The doc found me, explainin' Lily told her 'bout it. Lily told her too that I was not talkin' to her. Thing of it is, I wasn't talkin' to her cause of Ardra. Wasn't so much I didn't want to talk to Lily. I did. But when I tried Ardra'd take over and make Lily ignore me. It was a waste to even try. So long as Ardra controlled Lily, it was talkin' to a wall." I clenched my fists just thinkin' of it. I was gorram mad.

I took a mo to brush the curls away from Anna's face as she slept. The only bright side in everthin' goin' on. "Then there was the whole murder thing. Turned out it wasn't that Conan feller. It was Luscious Applemoor. Woman who lived in the upper Apartment over the office. Soon as Gallagher found out, he placed a big ol' wanted poster out. I was bettin' she already left Hale's. When she left, Lily, Bram, and Kitten disappeared. Was worried 'bout the three of em." I kneeled down to kiss my little one on the forehead as she slept peacefully. "A few days later Bram showed up. He said somethin' 'bout workin' on the ship and had trouble." I got back up and started pacin' again. From the couch to the big consoles and screens then back to the couches across the Hemlock's underground base. "Lily was back movin' 'round Hale's, then in orbit doin' what Ardra wanted her to do. So, while I was takin' the gorram treatments for the radiation exposure, Lily was sendin' word via the doc. Lily told her to tell me she was mad and went off and married Bram instead. That got me real riled up. I was ready to go and shoot someone... or mess em up real bad."

When I got back to the couch, I grabbed the old ball that was settin' on the wire spool table. Dog picked up his head waggin' his tail at the thought of playin' fetch.... Again. "That was 'bout the time I got the call from Ziggy. He said he had a job I might want in on. I told him sure. I'd had enough Whiskey to most stuff sound pretty good. What the hell.... It got me away from watchin' my 'verse spin away from me at near light speed. Or watchin' Lily collapse under Ardra's mass. If I could find a way to fix Lily I would, but I didn't know squat 'bout how to fix a genetic construct. Xoxo got hold of me 'bout the same day with some ideas and told me to look for Dr. Qui. Man had a gorram long last name. He had what Mindo needed to fix the mess. A Quantum Bus, or SQUID. Said it would remove Ardra's program and save what was left of Lily's programmin'. I had to head out anyway, so I went to Persephony. Had to meet Ziggy there. No Queen Betty at the docks meant Ziggy wasn't there." I threw the ball against the far wall where it bouced high shooting well over Dog's head as he charged after it.

He leapt up, missin' it, then chased it as it kept bouncin' 'round the floor. "Later, I saw Immy on her horse. You don't forget a horse like that. Nothin' like the roundup ponies they used on the docks for cattle movin'. She had two 'liance people checkin' her ID. I could see the flash of the card from my spot on the roof nearby. The trooper was goin' to hand it back then stopped. That got me thinkin' she might be in trouble. I could take the heat off her and onto me til she had a plan she could work out. I shot at the one in the armor knowin' it'd just push him back and send em scramblin' after me. It worked too. I fianlly had to shoot one of em to slow em down long enough for me to get to the shuttle I came in. Even with the body armor I felt the hits. Even thought I was holed. Didn't want to think of it til I reached Botany Bay. Was sure the 'liance wasn't goin' to show up there. I put a call in to Brooke to let her know where all I was goin' to be. When I landed Svet ended up meetin' me and took me over to the med center."

Dog came trottin' back with the ball all slobbered up. He dropped it at my feet wantin' to play more. I obliged him with another throw. "While Svet checked me over, Brooke, Sentry, and Dylan showed up. Luckily it was bruises and a few hairline cracks in three ribs. Dylan did his healin' stuff to help speed the healin' up. He even threatened to charge me for all the work he's done on me." The yellow Labrador chased the ball down playin' with it b'fore trottin' back with it. "I spent the night on MoonShel. Brooke wanted to keep an eye on me keep me outa trouble. I tried to sleep when I got there.... But I got to thinkin' 'bout Kitten again. Where all was she? It'd occured to me she never even said she was leavin'. That was somethin' she always tried to do. Sort of kept me from worryin'. Somethin' was wrong. I couldn't put a finger to it."

Have you seen this girl?

"Got to thinkin' Brooke might need to know. But then next mornin' no one was 'round. Gallagher was tryin' to contact me. Said he found Dr' Qui and what we needed."

"He picked me up and brought me back to the Hemlock base where we met up with the Dr. We started talkin' 'bout somethin' Krenshar got from the 'liance. The old maiframe. The one I recognized from the old power station. We got to talkin' 'bout Mercedes too. She was involved in the Ardra thing as a kid. She was part of the think tank at the time. Shortly after that, we went lookin' for the mainframe. The thing we'd put Ardra in once she was out of Lily. Ended up we found it in the mountains not far from Destiny." I threw the ball again, watchin' it bounce 'round, and Dog chasin' it happily. "Once we knew where all it was, the three of us went into Blue Sun to connect the SQUID. That and fix the damage Lily caused a week or two ago. Took a bit, but we got the stuff back up and runnin'. But things weren't 'bout to go our way. Lily sent a strange call for help to Seana b'fore cuttin' out. Somethin' 'bout Mindo. Xoxo went searchin' for her and ended up bein' taken by Mindo too. Then I got a call from Mindo.... The ring for Lily." The ring I was still wearin'. It was my link to Lily. Reminded me of her, and how I was literally holdin' what made her, her, in my hands. She'd entrusted it to me to keep it safe. Like Anna.

"That was 'bout the time Brooke had the name changed on the company. We were now called Applcado Transport And Salvage, or AT&S for short. I din't stay long. Way too much to deal with back at Blue Sun and Hale's." My brainpan was all spun 'bout again. I looked back at my daughter. She was the closest thing to bein' a part of me as Kitten was. She was sleepin' peacefully after playing with Dog all afternoon. "Next mornin' I got a call from Mindo....He sounded real strange..... Called from somewhere tellin' me to meet him at the Mayor's office. He kept insistin' he was Xoxo when I talked to him. From the vid I could see he'd died his hair red, was wearin' makup of all things, and earrin's. He'd gone completely nuts from what all I could tell. Said he and Anna would meet me at the Mayor's office. When I got there, I was at a loss for words."

"He was wearin' a peiced together outfit from Xoxo's own clothes.... Was I really seein' him dressed in a skirt!?"

I picked up the drooly ball, lookin' at its worn dull surface covered in dog slobber. Not sure what I was lookin' for. Somethin' in the mix... somethin' I mighta been missin'. Dog waited patiently for me to throw the ball again. That ball was like Mindo. His thoughts bouncin' round randomly in his brainpan. like the way the ball bounced off the uneven stone walls here in the Hemlock. Mindo. "I asked Seana to help me understand why she was playin' along with Mindo actin' like Xoxo. Was I missin' the joke or somethin'? I wasn't findin' it funny. He went on sayin' Mindo wasn't really bad, but he needed to be stopped. He also had my Anna. She was glad to see me as much as I was to see her safe. How he got her was beyond me. I was just glad she was ok."


Findin' a new place to bounce the ball off of, I hurled it. Dog in hot pursuit. "Mindo had a headache. Seemed it was gettin' worse from what Seana saw of it. He was complianin' of one then near passed out. Seana got to him and helped him onto a beanbag chair. While he slept, Anna tried to tell me and Seana where Xoxo and Lily where. Then he woke back up and we had to play at him bein' Xoxo again. He said he'd show us where Xoxo was and led me outside with Anna in tow. We got out into the street b'tween Firefly's and Jai's office when he stopped and turned 'round. I think there was some confusion on his face. That's when he said goodbye to Anna and me, pulled a gun from the wasitband of the skirt he wore, and put it under his chin. I knew then what he was goin' to do. As quick as I could, I scooped Anna up off the ground, my hand shieldin' her eyes from it. Gorram.. he was goin' to do it.... I moved away as quick as I could. That's when he pulled the trigger. We both jumped at the report. I stopped. lookin' over my shoulder, not sure whether to believe what he did or not. What I saw stopped me cold. Mindo layin' there, his brianpan leakin' from the hole he made. He'd ended himself. It left me stunned until I felt a small hand tuggin' on my collar. Next thing I knew Anna was pointin' into the sky with her little hand and sayin' somethin' that sounded like reavers. I asked her if it was and she nodded."

I rubbed my neck feelin' the tension there again. I could still hear the report of the pistol in my head and Mindo's lifeless body on the ground. Seein' someone endin' themselves made me feel queezy. "I ran back to The Mayor's office carryin' Anna and callin' Seana 'bout Mindo and the incomin' reavers. Once inside Seana sealed the buildin' with blast doors to wait it out. We figured out where Xoxo was with Anna's help while we waited. It'd have to wait til the reavers were gone b'fore I could get to her ship and go after Xoxo on Blackburne. Oh how the memories flooded back in. Ones I didn't have time to take care of. Time was runnin' out for Lily, and maybe even Xoxo. Without Xoxo we couldn't fix Lily. I got there and found Xoxo tied out to a dead tree. She asked where her brother was..... I told her. 'Showed' her from what I saw. We got back to Hale's as fast as we could. She was mostly in shock the on the way back. When we landed I got her some water and had her sit. She was exhausted and weak. Sickly was all I could think of when I looked at her. She ended up fallin' asleep so I put her up in the AT&S office upstairs."

I chucked the ball hard across the Hemlock, maybe a might too hard. It bounced off the welcome area glass, leaving a big dirty smear. "Next day she was yellin' at me for messin' up the placement of the SQUID. Ended up havin' to fix that, run wires to the old mainframe, and makin' gold foil for the floor in the lab. All to stop Ardra. In short I was Lily's replacement as a gofor for Xoxo. The scanner on the wall was linked to Lily. We could see what all was happenin' as Ardra started fightin' with Lily for control. Watchin' Lily slowly bein' overwritten...... I knew it was gettin' bad. But when Xoxo said she was sorry we were losin' her, I was feelin' my own inner world bein' torn out of me. I think Xoxo was payin' me back for tellin' her 'bout her brother. She knew it was tearin' me up inside. Her Jab at me. Then she showed me somethin' else. A coin..... Gave it to me. Told me it was mine." The one that had who I was on it. A lab coin. Just like Kitten's. Like the other experiments out there. Don't rightly know how she got hold of it or why she had it.... Don't know if she'd ever tell me either."Made me feel downright sick at my stomache when I saw what it was. My brainpan was ready to shut down if I didn't get back to focusin' on what needed doin'."

"Then Xoxo reminded me of what she'd said a few days earlier. Ardra was addictedd to spice. The pure, refined stuff. That maybe even Lily was addicted too. She had me send out a gorram rumor 'bout Global Pharm wantin' to have their shipment checked for purity. They were sendin' out a big shipment to Blue Sun to run the tests and it was from a new source. Not Al Raqis. It got me thinkin' back on why would a computer'd be needin' highly refined spice. And how could it be addicted to it. But Xoxo saw it. even got a hold of a bunch of bags from the Ardra source."

Ardra Takin' in pure refined spice on a continuous feed. For what reason?

"Xoxo'd grabbed a few pic's. This one and one of what the pure spice looked like... Near to bein' a pure crystal.... And gorram dangerous too. I contacted Brooke and told her what Xoxo told me to say. But this wasn't over. Now I was wantin' to know what a machine needed with spice. Or was Ardra just a go b'tween for someone or somethin' higher up the food chain."

Dog got the ball decidin' I was gettin' to rough with his toy and took it to his basket. "Took me all night to make that gold foil, lay it out on the lab floor, make it look like the floor with conductive paint, then hooked it up to the cables. That way when Lily wouldn't know what she was standin' on. Next mornin' Jai and Xoxo came into to the office, followed by Gallagher. We all waited for Lily to finially show up. She wanted the spice for Ardra. When we didn't give her what she wanted, she offered a blastomere, then demanded to know the new source. The jihar, she called it. Whatever the hell that was. Maybe it meant the source of spice." I went back to pacin' the floor. Dog wagged his tail every time I went by. "She stepped on the foil in her need for us to answer her. Then she stopped dead in her tracks halfway across the painted floor. We all waited to see what'd happen. Includin' Blue. Then she wasn't Ardra's Puppet.... No more Ardra. But not quite Lily either. What came from it was a clean slate I suspect. Ardra was now scrambled and in the old mainframe. Xoxo had me go unhook the the cables, which I did.... Barely able to think... Knowin' the Lily I was used to wasn't goin' to be there 'cept in a ring...... I wanted to say somethin' to her.... ask her to remember....... But Blue stopped me.... Said it was Lily's choice. Out of respect for Lily I had to step back and allow her her right to be. Had to bite the inside of my lip to keep from sayin' somethin' or doin' anythin'. "I handed her the ring with the strand of hair wrapped 'round it. She unwound the hair then looked at both. The ring she set on the desk. The strand of hair she put into a little glass jar. She'd made her choice. I just hung my head. Still not sure what all happened. Like Lily askin' me to choose. I chose, not what I wanted from her, but what we all recognized and loved 'bout her. What I fell in love with 'bout her."

I stopped my pacin' to sit next to Anna. She needed me to watch over her. It's what I needed to do for her and Lily. "I'm still all spun 'bout. Been hard to think strait and deal with the now. I had to go back to the lab. I had to get the ring... needed to take it... Somehow felt wrong to be without it on. I'd picked up the roll of gold then stopped to look at the notes Xoxo scribbled in Mindo's notebook.... Then I tucked it into my shirt and headed back for the Shadow to drop off the roll f gold. I tucked the coin in under console with some weld tape. The notebook went with me to the Hemlock so I could try to read some of the chinese... or get it translated somehow." Then I'd find a place to hide it too. Someplace well out of the way for safekeepin' til I could get myself back on track.... and my own brainpan wasn't so gorram messed up.