Whispers in the Dark

I watched as Anna climbed up on Toby's back again. Wasn't easy gettin' that 'bot dog down here into Hemlock. She was thrilled no end. "Seems like I could almost hear the sounds of Lily's diggin' in the mines. I'd gone down there to see her...... Got a gorram shock to see her too. She'd changed....." I rubbed my face then looked back up at Anna as she giggled, "There she was, small like a kid. Wirey and all wild. I caught her scent. That I know didn't change. But she was now no more'n a child her own self now." Wasn't goin' to admit how it tore me up inside. "Now Lily was a whole new entity. Not my Lily, not the Lily we all knew. Some little feral child."

"She don't really know me or anyone, 'cept maybe Xoxo... And that's questionable at best too. I had to take AuroraBlue with me. No way could Lily handle another jolt. It might foul up what remained of her original programmin'. I think if Lily were in my position, she'da done the same. Keepin' Anna safe was the most important thing right now. But for how long could I protect my little one. I knew the 'laince'd be after me b'fore too much longer. I couldn't very well take her on the run. It's why I came back to Hale's. I had an obligation and a promise to keep." Anna was tuggin' on Toby's collar like it was a set of reins. She giggled and babbled at the old animal 'bot.

"To much goin' on in my head.....And with reaver's on the increase, I wasn't goin' to leave Anna unprotected. We listened sometimes to the distant wails and screams in the darkened Hemlock." I heard em way too well. It brought with it the nightmares from my past......"I woulda gone up to help, but it'd risk Anna and my chances of stayin' hid." That and I needed to keep her away from em. "Xoxo wasn't actin' right either. She'd been actin' more and more strange. We'd got talkin' on stuff. Stuff I already knew. What she didn't know was Lily'd bit me. She was a might unsure how to take that, seein' how Lily's the PAX. I don't mean square. I mean she's been built with PAX. Seems her bite didn't effect me. Didn't change me into a reaver. For whatever reasons...... Don't know. But it got Xoxo a little worried... Saw it in her face."

"She asked me 'bout Kitten... Where all she was. I kept wonderin' too. Where all was mei mei. Not like her to be gone so gorram long and not contact me. I have to let Brooke know she's gone missin'. But gettin' a wave out could be dangerous. I didn't need Brooke in trouble over me makin' a gorram mistake." Started pacin' the floor again. Anna looked up at me with her big blue eyes, "Papa.... Wong?" Lookin' back at her, I didn't know what to tell her, "Nothin', Little one. It's ok. Nothin' wrong." I wish I coulda believed it in my own head. "I could still hear the noises in the dark. The whispers from the past. The sounds of the dead. Whenever I closed my eyes, I heard em."

Lily came down to Hemlock the other day lookin' for somethin'. I was just glad I'd takin' Anna to the bunk room to nap when Lily'd come on down. She was like a small animal. She wanted to know where HAL was. Wanted it for bargainin'.... For what I didn't know. She left when I said it wasn't down here. Barely talk to me. I knew she was not thinkin' of anythin' b'yond the here and now of it. Needed what she needed and then she moved on." Whispers.... Darkness..... Cold and lonely down there. "Darkness was supposed to be quiet. Was supposed to be where you could heart your own heart a beatin'. Instead, it was sounds of ships and people moving above us." Anna'd leaned forward and was huggin' the old dog 'bot. And as usual the old thing kept callin' her Anya. Xoxo couldn't fix that. At least she had a play toy. Not just Dog and me now.

"I'd spotted Lily that other night out playin' in the little playground. Like she always did. But then she went to the department store and stole a big old Sapphire. Hid it in her old worn and dirty coveralls. I woulda stopped her, but what good would it do. I wasn't a deputy anymore.... I'd thrown that by the wayside when I shot the Marshall at Eavestown. She run off after that. Was Lily really gone? Who was this new Lily?" I looked down at the ring a Lily gave me to hold onto. Three tears on a silver band. Whispers of who Lily was. Xoxo was able to remove it when we were trying to save Lily from Ardra. Now it's stuck like glue on me again. But then again I wasn't goin' to leave it there on Xoxo's desk. What was Lily was still in there. Maybe it' was her whispers in the dark that I'd hear when I tried to sleep at night..... when things'd quiet down above us.

Leaky Brainpans

"So there I was, done cleanin' the Aldea's cargo hold. Then Lily finally showed up. But it wasn't her by much. Ardra was makin' her check systems. She wandered on past me to read the equipment. Once Ardra was done with her. she let Lily be herself again. Only then did Lily talk to me. She was becomin' Ardra's personal vehicle and puppet." Me pacin' 'round the Hemlock was startin' to make me feel caged up. "But it wouldn't be for a few days, that I'd found out Aldea was still 'hot'. The doc found me, explainin' Lily told her 'bout it. Lily told her too that I was not talkin' to her. Thing of it is, I wasn't talkin' to her cause of Ardra. Wasn't so much I didn't want to talk to Lily. I did. But when I tried Ardra'd take over and make Lily ignore me. It was a waste to even try. So long as Ardra controlled Lily, it was talkin' to a wall." I clenched my fists just thinkin' of it. I was gorram mad.

I took a mo to brush the curls away from Anna's face as she slept. The only bright side in everthin' goin' on. "Then there was the whole murder thing. Turned out it wasn't that Conan feller. It was Luscious Applemoor. Woman who lived in the upper Apartment over the office. Soon as Gallagher found out, he placed a big ol' wanted poster out. I was bettin' she already left Hale's. When she left, Lily, Bram, and Kitten disappeared. Was worried 'bout the three of em." I kneeled down to kiss my little one on the forehead as she slept peacefully. "A few days later Bram showed up. He said somethin' 'bout workin' on the ship and had trouble." I got back up and started pacin' again. From the couch to the big consoles and screens then back to the couches across the Hemlock's underground base. "Lily was back movin' 'round Hale's, then in orbit doin' what Ardra wanted her to do. So, while I was takin' the gorram treatments for the radiation exposure, Lily was sendin' word via the doc. Lily told her to tell me she was mad and went off and married Bram instead. That got me real riled up. I was ready to go and shoot someone... or mess em up real bad."

When I got back to the couch, I grabbed the old ball that was settin' on the wire spool table. Dog picked up his head waggin' his tail at the thought of playin' fetch.... Again. "That was 'bout the time I got the call from Ziggy. He said he had a job I might want in on. I told him sure. I'd had enough Whiskey to most stuff sound pretty good. What the hell.... It got me away from watchin' my 'verse spin away from me at near light speed. Or watchin' Lily collapse under Ardra's mass. If I could find a way to fix Lily I would, but I didn't know squat 'bout how to fix a genetic construct. Xoxo got hold of me 'bout the same day with some ideas and told me to look for Dr. Qui. Man had a gorram long last name. He had what Mindo needed to fix the mess. A Quantum Bus, or SQUID. Said it would remove Ardra's program and save what was left of Lily's programmin'. I had to head out anyway, so I went to Persephony. Had to meet Ziggy there. No Queen Betty at the docks meant Ziggy wasn't there." I threw the ball against the far wall where it bouced high shooting well over Dog's head as he charged after it.

He leapt up, missin' it, then chased it as it kept bouncin' 'round the floor. "Later, I saw Immy on her horse. You don't forget a horse like that. Nothin' like the roundup ponies they used on the docks for cattle movin'. She had two 'liance people checkin' her ID. I could see the flash of the card from my spot on the roof nearby. The trooper was goin' to hand it back then stopped. That got me thinkin' she might be in trouble. I could take the heat off her and onto me til she had a plan she could work out. I shot at the one in the armor knowin' it'd just push him back and send em scramblin' after me. It worked too. I fianlly had to shoot one of em to slow em down long enough for me to get to the shuttle I came in. Even with the body armor I felt the hits. Even thought I was holed. Didn't want to think of it til I reached Botany Bay. Was sure the 'liance wasn't goin' to show up there. I put a call in to Brooke to let her know where all I was goin' to be. When I landed Svet ended up meetin' me and took me over to the med center."

Dog came trottin' back with the ball all slobbered up. He dropped it at my feet wantin' to play more. I obliged him with another throw. "While Svet checked me over, Brooke, Sentry, and Dylan showed up. Luckily it was bruises and a few hairline cracks in three ribs. Dylan did his healin' stuff to help speed the healin' up. He even threatened to charge me for all the work he's done on me." The yellow Labrador chased the ball down playin' with it b'fore trottin' back with it. "I spent the night on MoonShel. Brooke wanted to keep an eye on me keep me outa trouble. I tried to sleep when I got there.... But I got to thinkin' 'bout Kitten again. Where all was she? It'd occured to me she never even said she was leavin'. That was somethin' she always tried to do. Sort of kept me from worryin'. Somethin' was wrong. I couldn't put a finger to it."

Have you seen this girl?

"Got to thinkin' Brooke might need to know. But then next mornin' no one was 'round. Gallagher was tryin' to contact me. Said he found Dr' Qui and what we needed."

"He picked me up and brought me back to the Hemlock base where we met up with the Dr. We started talkin' 'bout somethin' Krenshar got from the 'liance. The old maiframe. The one I recognized from the old power station. We got to talkin' 'bout Mercedes too. She was involved in the Ardra thing as a kid. She was part of the think tank at the time. Shortly after that, we went lookin' for the mainframe. The thing we'd put Ardra in once she was out of Lily. Ended up we found it in the mountains not far from Destiny." I threw the ball again, watchin' it bounce 'round, and Dog chasin' it happily. "Once we knew where all it was, the three of us went into Blue Sun to connect the SQUID. That and fix the damage Lily caused a week or two ago. Took a bit, but we got the stuff back up and runnin'. But things weren't 'bout to go our way. Lily sent a strange call for help to Seana b'fore cuttin' out. Somethin' 'bout Mindo. Xoxo went searchin' for her and ended up bein' taken by Mindo too. Then I got a call from Mindo.... The ring for Lily." The ring I was still wearin'. It was my link to Lily. Reminded me of her, and how I was literally holdin' what made her, her, in my hands. She'd entrusted it to me to keep it safe. Like Anna.

"That was 'bout the time Brooke had the name changed on the company. We were now called Applcado Transport And Salvage, or AT&S for short. I din't stay long. Way too much to deal with back at Blue Sun and Hale's." My brainpan was all spun 'bout again. I looked back at my daughter. She was the closest thing to bein' a part of me as Kitten was. She was sleepin' peacefully after playing with Dog all afternoon. "Next mornin' I got a call from Mindo....He sounded real strange..... Called from somewhere tellin' me to meet him at the Mayor's office. He kept insistin' he was Xoxo when I talked to him. From the vid I could see he'd died his hair red, was wearin' makup of all things, and earrin's. He'd gone completely nuts from what all I could tell. Said he and Anna would meet me at the Mayor's office. When I got there, I was at a loss for words."

"He was wearin' a peiced together outfit from Xoxo's own clothes.... Was I really seein' him dressed in a skirt!?"

I picked up the drooly ball, lookin' at its worn dull surface covered in dog slobber. Not sure what I was lookin' for. Somethin' in the mix... somethin' I mighta been missin'. Dog waited patiently for me to throw the ball again. That ball was like Mindo. His thoughts bouncin' round randomly in his brainpan. like the way the ball bounced off the uneven stone walls here in the Hemlock. Mindo. "I asked Seana to help me understand why she was playin' along with Mindo actin' like Xoxo. Was I missin' the joke or somethin'? I wasn't findin' it funny. He went on sayin' Mindo wasn't really bad, but he needed to be stopped. He also had my Anna. She was glad to see me as much as I was to see her safe. How he got her was beyond me. I was just glad she was ok."


Findin' a new place to bounce the ball off of, I hurled it. Dog in hot pursuit. "Mindo had a headache. Seemed it was gettin' worse from what Seana saw of it. He was complianin' of one then near passed out. Seana got to him and helped him onto a beanbag chair. While he slept, Anna tried to tell me and Seana where Xoxo and Lily where. Then he woke back up and we had to play at him bein' Xoxo again. He said he'd show us where Xoxo was and led me outside with Anna in tow. We got out into the street b'tween Firefly's and Jai's office when he stopped and turned 'round. I think there was some confusion on his face. That's when he said goodbye to Anna and me, pulled a gun from the wasitband of the skirt he wore, and put it under his chin. I knew then what he was goin' to do. As quick as I could, I scooped Anna up off the ground, my hand shieldin' her eyes from it. Gorram.. he was goin' to do it.... I moved away as quick as I could. That's when he pulled the trigger. We both jumped at the report. I stopped. lookin' over my shoulder, not sure whether to believe what he did or not. What I saw stopped me cold. Mindo layin' there, his brianpan leakin' from the hole he made. He'd ended himself. It left me stunned until I felt a small hand tuggin' on my collar. Next thing I knew Anna was pointin' into the sky with her little hand and sayin' somethin' that sounded like reavers. I asked her if it was and she nodded."

I rubbed my neck feelin' the tension there again. I could still hear the report of the pistol in my head and Mindo's lifeless body on the ground. Seein' someone endin' themselves made me feel queezy. "I ran back to The Mayor's office carryin' Anna and callin' Seana 'bout Mindo and the incomin' reavers. Once inside Seana sealed the buildin' with blast doors to wait it out. We figured out where Xoxo was with Anna's help while we waited. It'd have to wait til the reavers were gone b'fore I could get to her ship and go after Xoxo on Blackburne. Oh how the memories flooded back in. Ones I didn't have time to take care of. Time was runnin' out for Lily, and maybe even Xoxo. Without Xoxo we couldn't fix Lily. I got there and found Xoxo tied out to a dead tree. She asked where her brother was..... I told her. 'Showed' her from what I saw. We got back to Hale's as fast as we could. She was mostly in shock the on the way back. When we landed I got her some water and had her sit. She was exhausted and weak. Sickly was all I could think of when I looked at her. She ended up fallin' asleep so I put her up in the AT&S office upstairs."

I chucked the ball hard across the Hemlock, maybe a might too hard. It bounced off the welcome area glass, leaving a big dirty smear. "Next day she was yellin' at me for messin' up the placement of the SQUID. Ended up havin' to fix that, run wires to the old mainframe, and makin' gold foil for the floor in the lab. All to stop Ardra. In short I was Lily's replacement as a gofor for Xoxo. The scanner on the wall was linked to Lily. We could see what all was happenin' as Ardra started fightin' with Lily for control. Watchin' Lily slowly bein' overwritten...... I knew it was gettin' bad. But when Xoxo said she was sorry we were losin' her, I was feelin' my own inner world bein' torn out of me. I think Xoxo was payin' me back for tellin' her 'bout her brother. She knew it was tearin' me up inside. Her Jab at me. Then she showed me somethin' else. A coin..... Gave it to me. Told me it was mine." The one that had who I was on it. A lab coin. Just like Kitten's. Like the other experiments out there. Don't rightly know how she got hold of it or why she had it.... Don't know if she'd ever tell me either."Made me feel downright sick at my stomache when I saw what it was. My brainpan was ready to shut down if I didn't get back to focusin' on what needed doin'."

"Then Xoxo reminded me of what she'd said a few days earlier. Ardra was addictedd to spice. The pure, refined stuff. That maybe even Lily was addicted too. She had me send out a gorram rumor 'bout Global Pharm wantin' to have their shipment checked for purity. They were sendin' out a big shipment to Blue Sun to run the tests and it was from a new source. Not Al Raqis. It got me thinkin' back on why would a computer'd be needin' highly refined spice. And how could it be addicted to it. But Xoxo saw it. even got a hold of a bunch of bags from the Ardra source."

Ardra Takin' in pure refined spice on a continuous feed. For what reason?

"Xoxo'd grabbed a few pic's. This one and one of what the pure spice looked like... Near to bein' a pure crystal.... And gorram dangerous too. I contacted Brooke and told her what Xoxo told me to say. But this wasn't over. Now I was wantin' to know what a machine needed with spice. Or was Ardra just a go b'tween for someone or somethin' higher up the food chain."

Dog got the ball decidin' I was gettin' to rough with his toy and took it to his basket. "Took me all night to make that gold foil, lay it out on the lab floor, make it look like the floor with conductive paint, then hooked it up to the cables. That way when Lily wouldn't know what she was standin' on. Next mornin' Jai and Xoxo came into to the office, followed by Gallagher. We all waited for Lily to finially show up. She wanted the spice for Ardra. When we didn't give her what she wanted, she offered a blastomere, then demanded to know the new source. The jihar, she called it. Whatever the hell that was. Maybe it meant the source of spice." I went back to pacin' the floor. Dog wagged his tail every time I went by. "She stepped on the foil in her need for us to answer her. Then she stopped dead in her tracks halfway across the painted floor. We all waited to see what'd happen. Includin' Blue. Then she wasn't Ardra's Puppet.... No more Ardra. But not quite Lily either. What came from it was a clean slate I suspect. Ardra was now scrambled and in the old mainframe. Xoxo had me go unhook the the cables, which I did.... Barely able to think... Knowin' the Lily I was used to wasn't goin' to be there 'cept in a ring...... I wanted to say somethin' to her.... ask her to remember....... But Blue stopped me.... Said it was Lily's choice. Out of respect for Lily I had to step back and allow her her right to be. Had to bite the inside of my lip to keep from sayin' somethin' or doin' anythin'. "I handed her the ring with the strand of hair wrapped 'round it. She unwound the hair then looked at both. The ring she set on the desk. The strand of hair she put into a little glass jar. She'd made her choice. I just hung my head. Still not sure what all happened. Like Lily askin' me to choose. I chose, not what I wanted from her, but what we all recognized and loved 'bout her. What I fell in love with 'bout her."

I stopped my pacin' to sit next to Anna. She needed me to watch over her. It's what I needed to do for her and Lily. "I'm still all spun 'bout. Been hard to think strait and deal with the now. I had to go back to the lab. I had to get the ring... needed to take it... Somehow felt wrong to be without it on. I'd picked up the roll of gold then stopped to look at the notes Xoxo scribbled in Mindo's notebook.... Then I tucked it into my shirt and headed back for the Shadow to drop off the roll f gold. I tucked the coin in under console with some weld tape. The notebook went with me to the Hemlock so I could try to read some of the chinese... or get it translated somehow." Then I'd find a place to hide it too. Someplace well out of the way for safekeepin' til I could get myself back on track.... and my own brainpan wasn't so gorram messed up.